Sun, 29 May 2022
I was over AND under-eater. I noticed odd behavior as a child picking my friends by their snacks. I only thought about what the food did for me, not what it was doing to me. I was different Bobs with different people as any good people pleaser. No clue who I really was. After a health scare I learned how to eat but could not do it. I heard of OA but it took 3 years to hit my bottom. In program I dieted successfully until one fateful binge night brought the reality of my disease and my need for a sponsor and the steps to the forefront. A food plan helped me resist the thoughts of 'I need more' 'I am full I should stop', Just stuck to my food plan. It feels like my service work helps me more than the service I provide helps others. |
Sun, 22 May 2022
Entered high school at 350, left over 500. First OA meeting was not my people, That was not MY problem. I lost 200 lbs by restricting and self will. That led to my relapse Upon reentry into OA I still struggled with the steps. Finally had a spiritual experience when I committed to going to my Father's wife's funeral. I still harbor the thought "I will never be satisfied' Today it is not as loud and I have tools to work towards an alternative. |
Sun, 15 May 2022
* * There are some gaps in the first few minutes of the recording. * * My first time in I became Miss OA without doing any of the work. My resentments with my father prevented from embracing a higher power. So I left During my relapse I had Gastric Bypass AND started putting on weight. Back to OA. This time with a Higher Power. Meetings (4 a week), Big Book, I have a sponsor, do the steps and I do service. That is my program today. Every day I am the best person I can be. Physically, spiritually, mentally and emotionally. |
Sun, 8 May 2022
* * Missing 4 minutes of recording @ 3 minute mark. * * When I lost my abstinence I gained the weight. No amount of food could fill the hole in the center of my being.
|
Sun, 1 May 2022
My biographical timeline is marked by food. I was a secret eater until I got found out. Pay and weigh worked dramatically for the weight but not for the 'me' I left the dynamics I grew up with when I went to college, But I took me with me. Back to secrets. College went from 175 to 0ver 300. Now to work. 3 Continuous fears. Not getting what I want, Loosing what I have, or Being found out. As my fears got bigger, my world got smaller and I was 525 lbs. It was a year after I asked God for help before I got into the program. |