Bulimia and anorexic was an eating disorder, I was just overweight.

Every day was the same,Great intentions, Break my intentions and then beat myself up.

I am a poster child for step one. with an allergy of the body and obsession of my mind.

Today i am living the definition of abstinence. for 12 years

Resentments are the thought' The past didn't go my way'. My fears are the thought the 'The future will not go my way.

There was a lot of time between my coming to OA in 1988 and the start of my current abstinence in 2011.

Pictures. Shame based eating even very young.

No matter how poorly I was treated growing up no one treated me worse than I did.

Joined the military to loose weight, it worked AND I was dismissed for failure to maintain below weight limit.

Came into program 2008 and followed direction. I has worked ever since.

Even at a good weight I am still working on the authentic Domingo 

Today I like others, I like me and value those relationships.

I use the big book, steps and tools of this program for any problem that comes up.

I wear my program like a loose garment. there is room for me to be me inside this program.

Even though we have unique stories there s a common thread that joins us.

I Have one picture form 2004. I have not been there for a long time but i could be me tomorrow.

I thought I could control EVERYTHING.

I wrote a new plan for my food and my life every Sunday. Worked perfectly until Monday noon.

All my self hate was projected on to other people.

What brought me into OA was an event where I dramatically picked my food over  my kids. 

I got a sponsor who remains with me today. 

I have a morning ritual based on the direction I would like to face today.

Every day My relationship with my food reflects my relationship with my world.

My higher power holds my n a tight string .

2010

5 years old eating rolled balls of bread, chubby and judged by my parents

Evan heavy I excelled in athletics just to prove my dad wrong.

I had a feeling, I needed to eat.

I maintained a weight loss with hours of excersize and handfuls of laxatives.

in 2015 I went to an Xmas party and partook of the food to the fullest.

Early 2016 I started meetings for 9 moths with no food plans,steps or honesty. 

I just recently got honest on al levels and the difference is palpable. I am using all the tools. 

My anger has been replaced with tolerance .

I was large as a child. first meeting August 1988 and the recovery started.'

I grew up in an unsafe household. with multiple candidates fr 12 step work. 

When I started babysitting all my money went for food. 

I ended up in the biggest size I could find. No where to go.

The laughter pissed  me off. It took a while for me to have the change.

I got a life, i started dancing in recovery, I have a sponsor and I am a sponsor. Gone through steps multiple times, and continue to find new things.

A morning ritual is a core component of my program.

My last relapse was during the pandemic by overeating abstinent food. 

My food plan is pretty tight, I take my food with me most of the time.