Sun, 30 October 2022
Young trauma, Covered it up with food. There was a moment when I really did eat a full dinner for 5 by myself.
I used my size and was successful in football and still wanted to avoid the spotlight.
My binge was a cycle. dramatically dropping weight for specific events.
I struggled with letting people in. Good at work but no social skills.
A woman, God and church came into my life and chased the binges away - for a while.
I was sure if anyone knew how I ate they would reject me - horribly.
I had a medical emergency which turned into a miracle. Then ate up to 670 Lbs
Treatment ended up in white knuckle recovery. worked for a year. Back up and back to treatment where the OA seed was planted.
Miracle after miracle led be into my current successful recovery and a quality life.
Sun, 23 October 2022
I come from an obese family so we were all big boned.
I was able to be a large drug addict.
My 20's and 30's was a series of Pay and Weighs.
I started out as an OA Rockstar led to 'I got this'. Back up to 300.
I came back and have been weighing and measuring for over 5 years. It works for me.
It took me while to find my spiritual groove for my life and my food. Everyone is different.
I have been in the same weight zone and have been the same size for years. I no longer weigh myself so I am not affected by the number.
I wish I could include my family on me recovery journey but that it is their choice.
I am no longer envious of 'normal' eaters.
Sun, 16 October 2022
I did not realize I was overeating until I found family photo when I was 9. I was devastated.
I believed I was a hopeless case.
Came to OA at 29 and found my people. Got a sponsor and got up to step 5. Then I met him.
Got to top weight. The was series of OA meetings I didn't go to. Finally back to OA 26 years after the first time.
I have done the steps multiple times; each time different because each time I am different.
Sun, 9 October 2022
I thought nobody did what I did, lied, hid etc
I have had the same food plan for 18 years.
Today food is fuel for my body. I came in just to change my body, what changed was everything.
As I read the big book I identified with so many of the stories.
I have admitted, accepted, surrendered and changed.
My sponsor says "What do you want to talk to me about that you don't want to talk to me about?"
Action is the magic word.
Now my life is the opposite of the Bedevilments (Big Book P. 52)