2 Periods of abstinence.

For me abstinence is binary, I am or i am not. 

When I came back I was eating from the produce aisle and still gaining weight.

There was a shift when I changed from eating emotionally to eating nutritionally based on a food plan.

I have a Higher Power and I shorten it to God.

I still feel the pull. Today I call me sponsor instead of giving into it.

Half of my abstinence is an attitude,

Program always comes first.

Sober 32 years , Abstinent - 2 Food is a bigger deal and harder
Top weight  over 350 lbs.

I am now in a body and a mind that does not include dieting.

I just wanted the diet, I can do this!  For a while

For me steps 6 and 7 were the miracle steps. Transformed my relationship with me.

I imagined a abstinent life of suffering. I din't hear that, just imagined that.

I was not ready for so long, I prayed be ready and one day it happened. I stopped convincing myself of the path I imagined and started to accept reality which was not anywhere near as bad as my scenario.

I have maintained an over 300 lb weight loss for past 4 years.

in High school I had friends who were concerned. at 250 lbs.

As I moved up in weight I just gave any thought of approproiate eating. I knew I needed more that a diet. 

I prayed to have the weight removed and it was still there in the morning.

Massive health problem gave me pause to think about it No More.  I was sure I was going to die and surrendered to that which led me to surrender to believing i was a compulsive over eater which allowed me to allow OA into my life.

I hit a bottom which was the moment I stopped digging. 

Once I got a sponsor and started working the steps, my recovery started.

Not only the weight loss but keeping it off is a miracle,'

My children no longer have to be my caregiver. I get the be the dad.

OA - Simple yes, Easy no

Came in over 350. Was told I needed surgery but not until I lost 70 lbs - I put on 20.

I got candy to keep my dad's alcohol secret and got paid with candy to rat him out. 

I learned to pray, but for stuff.

I ended up married and pregnant an got permission to eat like I wanted. 

I volunteered for everything  all over the place to prove I was worthy.

There was a moment when I realize I was choosing between life OR chocolate cake.

i am no longer alone. I work with a sponsor and my doctor.

Highest weight - 460

I had lots of real feelngs, food kept me safe.

I had skills, sought and achieved validation. but it was never enough.

I had a way of pushing people way, and feel rejected. Food never rejected me.

2018 dangerous diabetic diagnosis.doubled up on food and medicine.Made since to me.

11/11/2020 arrived in OA and admitted I was powerless over food. Had negative side affects.

Got a sponsor early on and went through the steps but still do step 1,2 and 3 every day.

Every step was transformational the first time trough and still is. More is revealed every time I go through them.

 now know I have a multitude of characters defects which I work on AND characters assets which continue to grow.

1st abstinence I lost over 200  lbs.

Verbally and physically abusive upbringing. Food helped.

Top weight over 400.

2 devastating losses brought me to my knees.

My self talk was extremely negative until I started working the steps

Still working on improving my relationship with a higher 

power.

Thin untill High School Up to 350.

Drugs were the only diet than helped until OA.

After car accident 1983  I ended up in OA. I heard my story. Abstinent since 5/31/83

Initially I was reluctant because of the God stuff.

Jumped into the steps I WANTED what you had.

When my sponsor went out I moved to the middle of the herd.

I realize now I was very angry my first 5 years.

I hate the phrase 'More will be revealed' It is true and today I have twe steps to handle this new stuff.

I talk the tools in and out of the program........

Missing first two minutes of recording. :(

Dieted in college comparing myself to everyone else. First time I thought it was a problem.

Going to Weight Watcher did not work as I was not willing to take directions and be different from my peers.

Somehow I thought the larger I got the more invisible i became.

Knowing I could eat in class was a gift from God.

By the time I got to OA I was pretty beaten down. I could not fit in a booth etc. Could not keep lying to myself.

In OA I saw the light in people eyes, They told a shameful truth and people clapped. I wanted that.

Two parts of my abstinence.Temporal and substance. When and what I eat are different components for my recovery.

once I decided I wanted what you had and became willing to go to any lengths it all kicked into gear.

After a while my mind, my heart and my soul opened up and could receive  the gifts of this program.

I came from a long line of good cooks and compulsive over-eaters.

I thought I could eat whatever my husband ate, added baby weight and kept it all and more.

Medical, pay and weigh, hypnosis and a multitude of other weight loss schemes failed to work for very long.

June 201 I started a diet took me form 317 to 192 in two years. No steps yet. 2020 landed in OA, qualified according the test questions, discovered my tribe but didn't know it yet.

Today I am retired andand not afraid. I work the programs, am involved with my meeting. do service and have a good realtionship with my higher power.

I am active, accountable and am loving my life due to OA.

Abstaining over 37 years. Came in over 340 lbs.

I came to OA because a friend but n=knew nothing of any anonymous program. 

My only motivation to come to OA was because I was afraid of loosing my children.

Could not come up with a good enough lie to not go to the 2nd meeting.

I got a sponsor who tricked me into more meeting per week and discovered a thurday night meeting of people just like me. Still my home group.

I do everything for one day. Same routine. I invite my higher Power into every aspect of my life listed out loud.

I have never left, I am still teachable, and I can ask for help.

Topped out 576. lbs in 1999.

Came into program thinking I would loose enough weight to do Barriatric surgery. God had other plans.

It was 'suggested' I work the program.

My food plan has changed but my program has not.

i was a compulsive rebel - today I have a pause button which helps me to take more appropriate actions.

Today I have a God of my understanding which, like my program, has never failed me.

I am blessed with a home, a family a career and a partner. I am 350 Lbs lighter without surgery. It is all result of my working the OA Program to the best of my ability.

I recovered through AA literature and it has stayed my focus.

I remember the anticipation and pleasure from my first steak when I was 6 and my life changed.

I would binge on bologna sandwiches.

I could not stop doing the binging which caused me so much misery.

I realized there was something wrong with me. Nobody did what I did with food.

In my mid thirties my world became very small.

Working a graveyard shift allowed to go to 3 meetings a day. I had physhical success from my diet. No recovery whatsoever.

Finally it seemed that getting a sponsor may be helpful.

I surrendered my sugar and was allowed my atheism. So I stayed.

Today my health, my PTSD and my Atheism have been addressed.

For me I remain in action for my recovery and helping other which helps me. 

I discovered comfort food as a infant.

I was tall and big before I was 9.

At 25 I had my first suicide attempt.

I was blackout eater.

I have been paddled back to lifetwice at 350 lbs. There is so much more.

Today I have a daily ritual, which keeps me sane, abstinent and useful. I record my food and and express my gratitude to my Higher Power maintaining a 150 Lb. weight loss.

I Was in mental hospital at 16 and learned about drugs. It did not help my weight but I was taken to AA.

Found OA grey sheet in 1977. Got physical recovery and several relapses.

For me the "OA Diet" worked briefly several times  with more weigh gain up to 300.

For more than 35 years I took what I liked and left the rest. 

Eventually I actually did all 12 steps with a sponsor

Today I have a food plan. Participate in service, sponsor people, and work the entire program to the best of my ability.

First came into OA in  2006. 

After multiple relapse I finally realized my recovery HAD to be my primary focus in order to have the rest of my life.

As a child I wanted to be invisible but my weight made that impossible.

I had excel spreadsheets for the diets I would start on Monday.

Today I have am maintaining a 150 lb weight loss.

The level of my honesty is reflected in the quality of my recovery.

I have walked through a myriad of problems and not turned to the food.

My daily ritual for my recovery it sacred for me.

When My relationship with God is right relianace of food is gone.

33.75 years abstinent and maintaining121 lb weight loss.

Prior to OA I was a nutritional expert gaining and loosing over 700 lbs a little at a time. 

I knew how to get shinny, but not for long.

Heavy I was angry, Thin I was angry. Hmmmm.

About the time I was planning my suicide I went to OA. Found people who didn't overeat AND they didn't want to. They had the 12 steps.

I have had tragedy and good fortunes and did not turn to the food on either end.

I  can put an abstinent meal together anywhere in the world.

I do not believe I could just go to a couple of meeting a week and maintain my life. It is the whole program. meetings, sponsoring, calls and introspection that works for me and keeps my disease at bay.

2002 Came to OA hundred pounder. Knew about AA and felt sorry for those poor addicts.

My pitch is for those who are tortured by what they eat.

I was convinced I need a sponsor, needed to call him and I recived a new life. Got involved in service, met a girl and got married. 

By 2017 I lost interest in recovery. my weight climbed, my enjoyment in my life plummeted.

Every plan I made feel through until I the only thing left was back to OA.

I thought if I lost weight fast I was getting better.

Today I make no food decision on my own. I am food neutral.

I am an atheist who prays a lot.

There are some gaps in the recording due to poor internet.

*****

 Even as a child the goal of being thin and eating as much as possible were at odds.

At 11 I went OA. They were nice but that was all I remember.

At 15 all I wanted them to do was' Stop Talking!'

I followed a diet and called it recovery.

In '94 I began my recovery, getting a sponsor and following directions he gave me.

I got amazing results loosing weight AND found the ability to spout OA wisdom like it was my own. 

I got so good I began sponsoring myself because I was so good. 

Finally got back with all my weight, followed new directions with a slight degree of humility developed and relationship with my higher power and began the road to real recovery.

My childhood was devoted  to sweets.

A friend died of obesity when we were 41. Got me to a doctor who scared me healthy for a moment.

Found a new diet online called OA. Followed grey sheet, lost weight with no recovery. and paid the price.

Finally found my way back to OA and the Pizza Box meeting. They were extremely serious about their recovery AND had fun.

Today I have have a daily ritual including the tools of the program and tools I have learned from other abstinent members.

Today I do my best to do the right thing around food, relationships, driving -  life.

My step zero is to always remember WHY I am in OA.

Isolation is my enemy.  The fellowship helps me conquer that enemy.

Sugary and starchy foods are a problem for me.

I was a chronic dieter and nothing ever lasted. 

At 5' 1" almost 300 lbs is a lot of mass.  My thinnest got me hospitalized. Always Malnourished.

I came to O. A. seeking and external solution to an internal problem.

Self loathing is not the path to recovery.

I was inspired (Not my idea) to attend an OA Conference. I was struck abstinent at that weekend.

I am always moving toward or away from my Higher Power. Toward is better.

I cannot do this alone. I need all of you and all the tools.

My GPS is God's Powerful Spirit.

Came in 2007 at 519 lbs

I had a core belief ' I am not ok". If thing did not go the way I wanted it proved me right, kept me outside. I learned to accept that truth. My relationship with food verified it more.

My weight went up, down, up more, down, up more up to a high of 525.

The honest awareness and acceptance I could not do it by myself got me into O.A.

Step 1 was a grieving process for me.

When I want too know what I am supposed to do, I look at what I am resisting.

Any time I think I got away with something, it becomes a heavier weight than the food. 

Came back into program from a terrible relapse in 2010  Took until 2014 to get abstinence.

My mother put me on diets very young. No diet lasted very long.

I went from a small town catholic girls school to NYC nursing school. discovered I really like to party.

Married with two children I thought there would be a top to my weight gain. Did not find it.

Anxiety pills and vodka produced the expected result and ended up in the ER. 

Finally I committed  up in OA followed direction, did service, had friends and thought I was good and could do this without meetings. That did not work. and I got up to my highest weight.

In 2014 I started my real journey to recovery into a life beyond my wildest dreams.

I think I was a compulsive over-eater as kid. Thin kid with a belly. I got in trouble for bumming food.

I picked up drugs and that worked for me. I ended up putting down the spoon and picked up the fork.

I ended up using and eating up to over 300 Lbs. 

I found out about OA, got a food plan and literature and did it on my own. But not very well.

Finally realized I needed a sponsor. got a real food plan and accountability. He helped me realized how many of my thoughts were insane. Helped me discover the phone was not my enemy.

Riding a stationary bike, I lost 100 lbs, gained 80, lost it again all while riding the bike hours a day. Discovered the quantity of appropriate food I was eating made a difference.

By the time I finished the steps I was eating extra bites with the obvious results. 

For the past 20 years I call my sponsor, am accountable for my food, sponsor other men and hold the programs as sacred.

Spring bringing a sense or renewal parallels my experience in OA

Prior to OA I was a Seed, full of potential but eating and nothings happens, In OA I germinated and began to grow - spiritually. But not right away.

My highest was at least 562. so far over 300 lbs

Walking upstairs is a miracle given to me by my participation in OA.

There are "God shots" which give me appropriate times to share about program.

Things tend to work out better when I am present and that only happens when I am NOT in the food.

The problem is rarely what I think it is, It is more likely how  I think about it.

I came into OA wondering why everyone was cheerful.

My eating habits were reflected in the birth weight of my children.

I picked a sponsor for their energy and joy, not the weight loss. 

I don't know what ' A little bit' means. I am better off when have a solid food plan and don't have to think about it or make decisions.

I survived my son's wedding. 

I work to avoid complacency.

I am maxed out with 2 sponsees, school and a family. It all brings me joy as long as I work my program.

I am look forward to  what God has in store for me tomorrow.

Normal weight up till 11 when my Dad died.

In HS I was 4'9" and 250.

My mom put me on every diet available and none worked.

1st time in OA I  lost over 100 Lbs but it brought up issues I was unwilling to deal with.  OA works if you work it. I didn't.

Came back with a clearer understanding my step one.

I lived with the paradox of the my weight saying 'Notice me' and also wanting to be invisible.

My 2nd time in ended with one bite of See's candy.

I came back a 3rd time with a commitment not to leave, no matter what.

Today I am comfortable in my body, I am healthy and happy. 

I know OA saved my life, gave me self-esteem. I exercise regularly, talk with my sponsor and more. 

My food plan varies based on an honest evaluation of my relationship with particular foods at particular times.

I have had all the promises come true and can still be a jerk.

I came into program 40 years ago. 

Living in Woodland hills drove to LA to meeting. the obsession hit and I bought food on the way home but was to sick to eat it. 

GOD = Gift of Desperation.

I came in angry at everybody and everything. Today I am a safe person.

Find someone you trust and can really talk to.

Happy joyous and free is feel safe and secure in yourself.

At the end of one successful diet I gained 17 lbs in one week.

I still report my food in every day. It is what works for me. 

Never a time when food wasn't the most important thing to me.

First OA Meeting when I was 12.

At 23 I was my top weight 423 but because I was young the physical damage was not that bad yet.

I broke toilets, lived through surgical complications and more all because of my weight without any change.

My body was killing me and I couldn't do anything. It was the only body I knew

When I fanallly return to OA that meeting was about death and I felt at home.

For the first year I  sponsored myself rigorously and had some results until I hit my own plateau several times.

Regardless of where I was food wise I never left the program.

I am two different people. My life in the food and my life in recovery.

Today I have a life where I am trusted, I experience love in both directions and I have self esteem.

100 Pounder multiple times.

I lost the weight but i was still me and my best friend was food.

I am a survivor of abuse as a child. As an adult I addressed my part and moving from victim to survivor.

I was always my own worst critic and I was brutal.

When I found my first OA Meeting I was broken and hopeless. They welcomed me. 

Current weight loss is about 155 lbs.

Service has saved my life. I recommend it.

I continue to connect the dots from my past to adjust my future.

My disease wants me dead. Today I want to live.

Top weight over 500 lbs in high school. Now around 195. 

I flucuated between 350 and 500 many times.

Coming into OA I had a food plan AND I restricted. I started lying, the food and weight was coming back and I acknowledged I was in relapse.

I eventually ended up praying, had a spiritual experience and the journey to recovery started for real.

Rigorous honesty became a way of life as I made my amends.

I still want more - That is my disease.  But I don't act on it - That is my recovery.

Cannot remember a time when I was not obsessed with food.

Major disappointment when I realized my size was related to my food and thought it was my fault.

Going away to college opened up all the doors.

Top recorded weight was 236. now about 135.

On my own I lost weight but was super unhealthy and the stress was still terrible. Why can't I control this?

Came into OA realizing I was an alcoholic with food. Crazy for the first few moths, Then settled down as I did the steps.

Some of the tools every day.

No matter how long I have been in the program I need to be accountable for my food.

I gained 110 Lbs in my last relapse which brought on a host of physical problems

When I took my 1st compulsive bite 4 years ago it did not occur to me downhill path I would go down.

I never stopped going to meetings or the OA birthday event.

In a moment without my intention I jumped back in. got a sponsor and took direction against my will.

Day by day I developed and improved a relationship with a higher power. . for REAL.

Now I have 2 years.

A ropes course became the metaphor for my not having and then reconnecting with my higher power.

Joined OA In San Fernando Valley for a year.

The premise ' I can do it in my own' did not work. My intellectual armor was the wall I kept banging into.

Coming back to OA it was a spiritual focus on the steps and tools which  relieved me of the bondage of self and made the difference for the long term.

Our food plan is personal based on our PARTICULAR way of eating compulsively.

I was packing food. Loved being full.

Day after day - "I'll never do this again."

I married the first guy who asked and had 2 kids by 21.

I believed I was a victim . . .of my husband, of my disease of everything.

It was always a diet, Goal weight and immediately 'game on'

I got caught eating a spoiled sandwich for the first time I was outed for a particular behavior.

When I admitted I was  a compulsive over-eater I had my own identity for the first time.

I embraced the concept of 'No Matter What' from the beginning.

I feel anxiety over any change in my food plan.

I avoided the God stuff in the beginning. then it changed.

When I ate I got things done.

I was choosing food over shelter.

A 300 lbs I felt small.

I went to OA, got embraced, hooked and started my recovery. I get an apartment and a job the first week.

The foundation of my recovery is honesty. That creates the space for God to come in.

My recovery is not a return but a discovery and becoming who I am.

I am in multiple 12 steps programs and I need to be. but OA is my home base.

I have been through a lot of emotional events and stayed abstinent.

Question begin @ 26 minutes.

Thin to normal until late teens.

by 24 years old I added 3 kids and 125 pounds.

Tried to manage my weight myself with little results

Came to OA 2 years ago, Had 1 short slip after 6 months and now a back on track.

I have medical issue and medicine that affects my weight.

At one point I would try to make my husband responsible for what I ate.