2 Periods of abstinence.

For me abstinence is binary, I am or i am not. 

When I came back I was eating from the produce aisle and still gaining weight.

There was a shift when I changed from eating emotionally to eating nutritionally based on a food plan.

I have a Higher Power and I shorten it to God.

I still feel the pull. Today I call me sponsor instead of giving into it.

Half of my abstinence is an attitude,

Program always comes first.

Sober 32 years , Abstinent - 2 Food is a bigger deal and harder
Top weight  over 350 lbs.

I am now in a body and a mind that does not include dieting.

I just wanted the diet, I can do this!  For a while

For me steps 6 and 7 were the miracle steps. Transformed my relationship with me.

I imagined a abstinent life of suffering. I din't hear that, just imagined that.

I was not ready for so long, I prayed be ready and one day it happened. I stopped convincing myself of the path I imagined and started to accept reality which was not anywhere near as bad as my scenario.

I have maintained an over 300 lb weight loss for past 4 years.

in High school I had friends who were concerned. at 250 lbs.

As I moved up in weight I just gave any thought of approproiate eating. I knew I needed more that a diet. 

I prayed to have the weight removed and it was still there in the morning.

Massive health problem gave me pause to think about it No More.  I was sure I was going to die and surrendered to that which led me to surrender to believing i was a compulsive over eater which allowed me to allow OA into my life.

I hit a bottom which was the moment I stopped digging. 

Once I got a sponsor and started working the steps, my recovery started.

Not only the weight loss but keeping it off is a miracle,'

My children no longer have to be my caregiver. I get the be the dad.

OA - Simple yes, Easy no

Came in over 350. Was told I needed surgery but not until I lost 70 lbs - I put on 20.

I got candy to keep my dad's alcohol secret and got paid with candy to rat him out. 

I learned to pray, but for stuff.

I ended up married and pregnant an got permission to eat like I wanted. 

I volunteered for everything  all over the place to prove I was worthy.

There was a moment when I realize I was choosing between life OR chocolate cake.

i am no longer alone. I work with a sponsor and my doctor.

Highest weight - 460

I had lots of real feelngs, food kept me safe.

I had skills, sought and achieved validation. but it was never enough.

I had a way of pushing people way, and feel rejected. Food never rejected me.

2018 dangerous diabetic diagnosis.doubled up on food and medicine.Made since to me.

11/11/2020 arrived in OA and admitted I was powerless over food. Had negative side affects.

Got a sponsor early on and went through the steps but still do step 1,2 and 3 every day.

Every step was transformational the first time trough and still is. More is revealed every time I go through them.

 now know I have a multitude of characters defects which I work on AND characters assets which continue to grow.

1st abstinence I lost over 200  lbs.

Verbally and physically abusive upbringing. Food helped.

Top weight over 400.

2 devastating losses brought me to my knees.

My self talk was extremely negative until I started working the steps

Still working on improving my relationship with a higher 

power.

Thin untill High School Up to 350.

Drugs were the only diet than helped until OA.

After car accident 1983  I ended up in OA. I heard my story. Abstinent since 5/31/83

Initially I was reluctant because of the God stuff.

Jumped into the steps I WANTED what you had.

When my sponsor went out I moved to the middle of the herd.

I realize now I was very angry my first 5 years.

I hate the phrase 'More will be revealed' It is true and today I have twe steps to handle this new stuff.

I talk the tools in and out of the program........

Missing first two minutes of recording. :(

Dieted in college comparing myself to everyone else. First time I thought it was a problem.

Going to Weight Watcher did not work as I was not willing to take directions and be different from my peers.

Somehow I thought the larger I got the more invisible i became.

Knowing I could eat in class was a gift from God.

By the time I got to OA I was pretty beaten down. I could not fit in a booth etc. Could not keep lying to myself.

In OA I saw the light in people eyes, They told a shameful truth and people clapped. I wanted that.

Two parts of my abstinence.Temporal and substance. When and what I eat are different components for my recovery.

once I decided I wanted what you had and became willing to go to any lengths it all kicked into gear.

After a while my mind, my heart and my soul opened up and could receive  the gifts of this program.

I came from a long line of good cooks and compulsive over-eaters.

I thought I could eat whatever my husband ate, added baby weight and kept it all and more.

Medical, pay and weigh, hypnosis and a multitude of other weight loss schemes failed to work for very long.

June 201 I started a diet took me form 317 to 192 in two years. No steps yet. 2020 landed in OA, qualified according the test questions, discovered my tribe but didn't know it yet.

Today I am retired andand not afraid. I work the programs, am involved with my meeting. do service and have a good realtionship with my higher power.

I am active, accountable and am loving my life due to OA.

Abstaining over 37 years. Came in over 340 lbs.

I came to OA because a friend but n=knew nothing of any anonymous program. 

My only motivation to come to OA was because I was afraid of loosing my children.

Could not come up with a good enough lie to not go to the 2nd meeting.

I got a sponsor who tricked me into more meeting per week and discovered a thurday night meeting of people just like me. Still my home group.

I do everything for one day. Same routine. I invite my higher Power into every aspect of my life listed out loud.

I have never left, I am still teachable, and I can ask for help.

Topped out 576. lbs in 1999.

Came into program thinking I would loose enough weight to do Barriatric surgery. God had other plans.

It was 'suggested' I work the program.

My food plan has changed but my program has not.

i was a compulsive rebel - today I have a pause button which helps me to take more appropriate actions.

Today I have a God of my understanding which, like my program, has never failed me.

I am blessed with a home, a family a career and a partner. I am 350 Lbs lighter without surgery. It is all result of my working the OA Program to the best of my ability.

I recovered through AA literature and it has stayed my focus.

I remember the anticipation and pleasure from my first steak when I was 6 and my life changed.

I would binge on bologna sandwiches.

I could not stop doing the binging which caused me so much misery.

I realized there was something wrong with me. Nobody did what I did with food.

In my mid thirties my world became very small.

Working a graveyard shift allowed to go to 3 meetings a day. I had physhical success from my diet. No recovery whatsoever.

Finally it seemed that getting a sponsor may be helpful.

I surrendered my sugar and was allowed my atheism. So I stayed.

Today my health, my PTSD and my Atheism have been addressed.

For me I remain in action for my recovery and helping other which helps me. 

I discovered comfort food as a infant.

I was tall and big before I was 9.

At 25 I had my first suicide attempt.

I was blackout eater.

I have been paddled back to lifetwice at 350 lbs. There is so much more.

Today I have a daily ritual, which keeps me sane, abstinent and useful. I record my food and and express my gratitude to my Higher Power maintaining a 150 Lb. weight loss.

I Was in mental hospital at 16 and learned about drugs. It did not help my weight but I was taken to AA.

Found OA grey sheet in 1977. Got physical recovery and several relapses.

For me the "OA Diet" worked briefly several times  with more weigh gain up to 300.

For more than 35 years I took what I liked and left the rest. 

Eventually I actually did all 12 steps with a sponsor

Today I have a food plan. Participate in service, sponsor people, and work the entire program to the best of my ability.

First came into OA in  2006. 

After multiple relapse I finally realized my recovery HAD to be my primary focus in order to have the rest of my life.

As a child I wanted to be invisible but my weight made that impossible.

I had excel spreadsheets for the diets I would start on Monday.

Today I have am maintaining a 150 lb weight loss.

The level of my honesty is reflected in the quality of my recovery.

I have walked through a myriad of problems and not turned to the food.

My daily ritual for my recovery it sacred for me.

When My relationship with God is right relianace of food is gone.

33.75 years abstinent and maintaining121 lb weight loss.

Prior to OA I was a nutritional expert gaining and loosing over 700 lbs a little at a time. 

I knew how to get shinny, but not for long.

Heavy I was angry, Thin I was angry. Hmmmm.

About the time I was planning my suicide I went to OA. Found people who didn't overeat AND they didn't want to. They had the 12 steps.

I have had tragedy and good fortunes and did not turn to the food on either end.

I  can put an abstinent meal together anywhere in the world.

I do not believe I could just go to a couple of meeting a week and maintain my life. It is the whole program. meetings, sponsoring, calls and introspection that works for me and keeps my disease at bay.

2002 Came to OA hundred pounder. Knew about AA and felt sorry for those poor addicts.

My pitch is for those who are tortured by what they eat.

I was convinced I need a sponsor, needed to call him and I recived a new life. Got involved in service, met a girl and got married. 

By 2017 I lost interest in recovery. my weight climbed, my enjoyment in my life plummeted.

Every plan I made feel through until I the only thing left was back to OA.

I thought if I lost weight fast I was getting better.

Today I make no food decision on my own. I am food neutral.

I am an atheist who prays a lot.

There are some gaps in the recording due to poor internet.

*****

 Even as a child the goal of being thin and eating as much as possible were at odds.

At 11 I went OA. They were nice but that was all I remember.

At 15 all I wanted them to do was' Stop Talking!'

I followed a diet and called it recovery.

In '94 I began my recovery, getting a sponsor and following directions he gave me.

I got amazing results loosing weight AND found the ability to spout OA wisdom like it was my own. 

I got so good I began sponsoring myself because I was so good. 

Finally got back with all my weight, followed new directions with a slight degree of humility developed and relationship with my higher power and began the road to real recovery.

My childhood was devoted  to sweets.

A friend died of obesity when we were 41. Got me to a doctor who scared me healthy for a moment.

Found a new diet online called OA. Followed grey sheet, lost weight with no recovery. and paid the price.

Finally found my way back to OA and the Pizza Box meeting. They were extremely serious about their recovery AND had fun.

Today I have have a daily ritual including the tools of the program and tools I have learned from other abstinent members.

Today I do my best to do the right thing around food, relationships, driving -  life.

My step zero is to always remember WHY I am in OA.

Isolation is my enemy.  The fellowship helps me conquer that enemy.

Sugary and starchy foods are a problem for me.

I was a chronic dieter and nothing ever lasted. 

At 5' 1" almost 300 lbs is a lot of mass.  My thinnest got me hospitalized. Always Malnourished.

I came to O. A. seeking and external solution to an internal problem.

Self loathing is not the path to recovery.

I was inspired (Not my idea) to attend an OA Conference. I was struck abstinent at that weekend.

I am always moving toward or away from my Higher Power. Toward is better.

I cannot do this alone. I need all of you and all the tools.

My GPS is God's Powerful Spirit.

Came in 2007 at 519 lbs

I had a core belief ' I am not ok". If thing did not go the way I wanted it proved me right, kept me outside. I learned to accept that truth. My relationship with food verified it more.

My weight went up, down, up more, down, up more up to a high of 525.

The honest awareness and acceptance I could not do it by myself got me into O.A.

Step 1 was a grieving process for me.

When I want too know what I am supposed to do, I look at what I am resisting.

Any time I think I got away with something, it becomes a heavier weight than the food. 

Came back into program from a terrible relapse in 2010  Took until 2014 to get abstinence.

My mother put me on diets very young. No diet lasted very long.

I went from a small town catholic girls school to NYC nursing school. discovered I really like to party.

Married with two children I thought there would be a top to my weight gain. Did not find it.

Anxiety pills and vodka produced the expected result and ended up in the ER. 

Finally I committed  up in OA followed direction, did service, had friends and thought I was good and could do this without meetings. That did not work. and I got up to my highest weight.

In 2014 I started my real journey to recovery into a life beyond my wildest dreams.

I think I was a compulsive over-eater as kid. Thin kid with a belly. I got in trouble for bumming food.

I picked up drugs and that worked for me. I ended up putting down the spoon and picked up the fork.

I ended up using and eating up to over 300 Lbs. 

I found out about OA, got a food plan and literature and did it on my own. But not very well.

Finally realized I needed a sponsor. got a real food plan and accountability. He helped me realized how many of my thoughts were insane. Helped me discover the phone was not my enemy.

Riding a stationary bike, I lost 100 lbs, gained 80, lost it again all while riding the bike hours a day. Discovered the quantity of appropriate food I was eating made a difference.

By the time I finished the steps I was eating extra bites with the obvious results. 

For the past 20 years I call my sponsor, am accountable for my food, sponsor other men and hold the programs as sacred.

Spring bringing a sense or renewal parallels my experience in OA

Prior to OA I was a Seed, full of potential but eating and nothings happens, In OA I germinated and began to grow - spiritually. But not right away.

My highest was at least 562. so far over 300 lbs

Walking upstairs is a miracle given to me by my participation in OA.

There are "God shots" which give me appropriate times to share about program.

Things tend to work out better when I am present and that only happens when I am NOT in the food.

The problem is rarely what I think it is, It is more likely how  I think about it.

I came into OA wondering why everyone was cheerful.

My eating habits were reflected in the birth weight of my children.

I picked a sponsor for their energy and joy, not the weight loss. 

I don't know what ' A little bit' means. I am better off when have a solid food plan and don't have to think about it or make decisions.

I survived my son's wedding. 

I work to avoid complacency.

I am maxed out with 2 sponsees, school and a family. It all brings me joy as long as I work my program.

I am look forward to  what God has in store for me tomorrow.

Normal weight up till 11 when my Dad died.

In HS I was 4'9" and 250.

My mom put me on every diet available and none worked.

1st time in OA I  lost over 100 Lbs but it brought up issues I was unwilling to deal with.  OA works if you work it. I didn't.

Came back with a clearer understanding my step one.

I lived with the paradox of the my weight saying 'Notice me' and also wanting to be invisible.

My 2nd time in ended with one bite of See's candy.

I came back a 3rd time with a commitment not to leave, no matter what.

Today I am comfortable in my body, I am healthy and happy. 

I know OA saved my life, gave me self-esteem. I exercise regularly, talk with my sponsor and more. 

My food plan varies based on an honest evaluation of my relationship with particular foods at particular times.

I have had all the promises come true and can still be a jerk.

I came into program 40 years ago. 

Living in Woodland hills drove to LA to meeting. the obsession hit and I bought food on the way home but was to sick to eat it. 

GOD = Gift of Desperation.

I came in angry at everybody and everything. Today I am a safe person.

Find someone you trust and can really talk to.

Happy joyous and free is feel safe and secure in yourself.

At the end of one successful diet I gained 17 lbs in one week.

I still report my food in every day. It is what works for me. 

Never a time when food wasn't the most important thing to me.

First OA Meeting when I was 12.

At 23 I was my top weight 423 but because I was young the physical damage was not that bad yet.

I broke toilets, lived through surgical complications and more all because of my weight without any change.

My body was killing me and I couldn't do anything. It was the only body I knew

When I fanallly return to OA that meeting was about death and I felt at home.

For the first year I  sponsored myself rigorously and had some results until I hit my own plateau several times.

Regardless of where I was food wise I never left the program.

I am two different people. My life in the food and my life in recovery.

Today I have a life where I am trusted, I experience love in both directions and I have self esteem.

100 Pounder multiple times.

I lost the weight but i was still me and my best friend was food.

I am a survivor of abuse as a child. As an adult I addressed my part and moving from victim to survivor.

I was always my own worst critic and I was brutal.

When I found my first OA Meeting I was broken and hopeless. They welcomed me. 

Current weight loss is about 155 lbs.

Service has saved my life. I recommend it.

I continue to connect the dots from my past to adjust my future.

My disease wants me dead. Today I want to live.

Top weight over 500 lbs in high school. Now around 195. 

I flucuated between 350 and 500 many times.

Coming into OA I had a food plan AND I restricted. I started lying, the food and weight was coming back and I acknowledged I was in relapse.

I eventually ended up praying, had a spiritual experience and the journey to recovery started for real.

Rigorous honesty became a way of life as I made my amends.

I still want more - That is my disease.  But I don't act on it - That is my recovery.

Cannot remember a time when I was not obsessed with food.

Major disappointment when I realized my size was related to my food and thought it was my fault.

Going away to college opened up all the doors.

Top recorded weight was 236. now about 135.

On my own I lost weight but was super unhealthy and the stress was still terrible. Why can't I control this?

Came into OA realizing I was an alcoholic with food. Crazy for the first few moths, Then settled down as I did the steps.

Some of the tools every day.

No matter how long I have been in the program I need to be accountable for my food.

I gained 110 Lbs in my last relapse which brought on a host of physical problems

When I took my 1st compulsive bite 4 years ago it did not occur to me downhill path I would go down.

I never stopped going to meetings or the OA birthday event.

In a moment without my intention I jumped back in. got a sponsor and took direction against my will.

Day by day I developed and improved a relationship with a higher power. . for REAL.

Now I have 2 years.

A ropes course became the metaphor for my not having and then reconnecting with my higher power.

Joined OA In San Fernando Valley for a year.

The premise ' I can do it in my own' did not work. My intellectual armor was the wall I kept banging into.

Coming back to OA it was a spiritual focus on the steps and tools which  relieved me of the bondage of self and made the difference for the long term.

Our food plan is personal based on our PARTICULAR way of eating compulsively.

I was packing food. Loved being full.

Day after day - "I'll never do this again."

I married the first guy who asked and had 2 kids by 21.

I believed I was a victim . . .of my husband, of my disease of everything.

It was always a diet, Goal weight and immediately 'game on'

I got caught eating a spoiled sandwich for the first time I was outed for a particular behavior.

When I admitted I was  a compulsive over-eater I had my own identity for the first time.

I embraced the concept of 'No Matter What' from the beginning.

I feel anxiety over any change in my food plan.

I avoided the God stuff in the beginning. then it changed.

When I ate I got things done.

I was choosing food over shelter.

A 300 lbs I felt small.

I went to OA, got embraced, hooked and started my recovery. I get an apartment and a job the first week.

The foundation of my recovery is honesty. That creates the space for God to come in.

My recovery is not a return but a discovery and becoming who I am.

I am in multiple 12 steps programs and I need to be. but OA is my home base.

I have been through a lot of emotional events and stayed abstinent.

Question begin @ 26 minutes.

Thin to normal until late teens.

by 24 years old I added 3 kids and 125 pounds.

Tried to manage my weight myself with little results

Came to OA 2 years ago, Had 1 short slip after 6 months and now a back on track.

I have medical issue and medicine that affects my weight.

At one point I would try to make my husband responsible for what I ate.

As a child my constant discontent was only salved with food.

Joining the service kept in under control . . for a while.

When everything failed even in the program I finally surrendered and got a sponsor and followed direction. and i worked.   Who knew?

I am not an occasional or moderate over eater. I am addict as outlined in the Big Book

My relationship with my higher power mirrors my recovery.

My recovery jumped into high gear when I started working the program as outlined in the Big Book.

We are united by a very personal and individual disease.

well over 300 LBS a number of times was one way my disease manifested in my life.

Rapid weight gain and rapid weight loss was a recurring pattern.

My therapist 'suggested' OA.

I became abstinent immediately. It was a shock. I found I was able to out foods down for one day . . repeatedly.

The Doctor's Opinion in the Big Book meant a lot to me.

I Liked the effect of my reaction to my addictive behavior. As a result of this program I HAVE experienced the psychic change.

I had my stomach pumped at age 5.

I ate over every single feeling. My family tried everything, doctors, bribes etc, some worked . for a second.

Food was my second addiction, Poor me. Joined a very strict  program, Felt great for two years, then back out and plus 100.

Important to trick the fast food clerk that it wasn't all for me.

Found OA in order to work the steps on food through the Big Book.

Honesty was a real problem for me. Or rather lack of honesty.

First miracle was starting on a Thursday. This time through the steps was an eye opener (understatement). Doing what was asked yielded real results.

Zoom is gift of Covid allowing me to sneak back into the rooms before I was perfect.

Today I do morning prayers, text my sponsor, read from the Big Book. commit my recovery to my higher power.

Still working on my honesty.

I had a good childhood. No major drama, church etc.  However Love = Food and I wanted love.

with weight - Loosing =Good, Gaining = Bad.

Only in hindsight do I realize food was my drug even as a child.

I was active which helped keep my weight down but I still used pills.

Left on my own in college - Game on! 

Through marriage, kids the YoYo got bigger, more expensive, and more devastating.

I knew there was a spiritual problem but knowing it didn't work.

I ended up in OA,, surrendered to God, have given up 197 Lbs, and maintain it.

Stats - came in 2011 at 35 years old and 320 Lbs. Now maintaining a 150 lb loss for the last 4 years.

Only one of 5 kids who was overweight.. I was a participant in my life. My weight did not define me but it was always with me.

Lost 90 lbs before getting pregnant, Put on 100 during and after.

I had heard about OA from my mom forever so I knew where to go when I was ready.

3.5 years for physical recovery. Finally hooked up with a sponsor and worked the steps from a phone meeting way before Covid forced it upon us.

Going through the steps and the Big Book transformed my recovery, my relationship with a Higher Power and I achieved food neutrality.

I ended up overeating with fruit which was triggered by dextrose in salt pack at work AND because I did not tell the truth to my sponsor.

Today I maintain my weight and my clothes always fit.

I can be with my family without enjoy them enjoying thier food.

I work the steps every day as need without shame. and wrap my day up with a review of my successes and a ask God to help me get better in other areas.

I put on 250 lbs in high school.

I had success with a soup, Valium and scotch diet, for a minute.

I thought drugs would be my solution. I had highly negative side effects.

I ended up in OA with 3 three meals nothing in between one day at a time and today I have a level of serenity and acceptance beyond anything I could have imagined.

My goal weight is what I weigh today and adjust my food plan  accordingly when it drifts.

I can find an abstinent meal in any restaurant in the world.

My never ending journey through the steps has ups and downs with continuous improvements in my behavior.

My dreams are coming true because of OA.

Young trauma, Covered it up with food. There was a moment when I really did eat a full dinner for 5 by myself.

I used my size and was successful in football and still wanted to avoid the spotlight.

My binge was a cycle. dramatically dropping weight for specific events.

I struggled with letting people in. Good at work but no social skills.

A woman, God and church came into my life and chased the binges away - for a while.

I was sure if anyone knew how I ate they would reject me - horribly.

I had a medical emergency which turned into a miracle. Then  ate up to 670 Lbs

Treatment ended up in white knuckle recovery. worked for a year. Back up and back to treatment where the OA seed was planted.

Miracle after miracle led be into my current successful recovery and a quality life.

I come from an obese family so we were all big boned.

I was able to be a large drug addict.

My 20's and 30's was a series of Pay and Weighs.

I started out as an OA Rockstar led to 'I got this'.  Back up to 300.

I came back and have been weighing and measuring for over 5 years. It works for me.

It took me while to find my spiritual groove for my life and my food. Everyone is different.

I have been in the same weight zone and have been the same size for years. I no longer weigh myself so I am not affected by the number.

I wish I could include my family on me recovery journey but that it is their choice.

I am no longer envious of 'normal' eaters.

I did not realize I was overeating until I found  family photo when I was 9. I was devastated.

I believed I was a hopeless case.

Came to OA at 29 and found my people. Got a sponsor and got up to step 5. Then I met him.

Got to top weight. The was series of OA meetings I didn't go to. Finally back to OA 26 years after the first time.

I have done the steps multiple times; each time different because each time I am different.

I thought nobody did what I did, lied, hid etc

I have had the same food plan for 18 years.

Today food is fuel for my body. I came in just to change my body, what changed was everything.

As I read the big book I identified with so many of the stories.

I have admitted, accepted, surrendered and changed.

My sponsor says "What do you want to talk to me about that you don't want to talk to me about?"

Action is the magic word.

Now my life is the opposite of the Bedevilments (Big Book P. 52)

Geographics, Hair/no hair, nothing helped me stop eating.

Today I have over 15,000 days abstinent.

I thought OA was going to be a cult, I went to a meeting halfway out the door. Instead I heard MY story and had recovered.

I resonated with the term ' Food Addict'.  I Did go through withdrawal. and I only had to do it once.

Aha - If it works for you it might work for me. Worth a try.

Much to my chagrin the day I hit goal weight was just another day.

Our spirituality is based on service.

1st abstinence after my third son for a few years and thought 'I got this' and did not leave meetings.

Thought I couldn't do school and OA, -I Picked school.

Ended up in pain unable to walk much and all the physical stuff. I was scared I would die in my sleep.

Controlling my program got me to 242.

Following a food plan gave me food neutrality.

My life is not perfect but I am not in the Hell I had with the food.

The least of my positive results is my weight loss. My family relationships are so much better. I aspire to behave as a woman in recovery one day at a time.

I know in my heart ' It works if you work it . . with a sponsor.'

Food was my little buddy. Didn't know how to be without it.

In Jr High I controlled my weight but I was an emotional wreck.

I vacillated between managing my food or my emotions but not both.

I had the lap-Band surgery and gained 20 lbs because I was always a grazer, small amounts all the time.

Second surgery for sleeve, same results. just took longer.

Covid was my last food failure but OA on Zoom became my Savior.

I got a sponsor who gently dragged me through the steps and I have some recovery.

My relationships, my finances, my self talk has all improved - ALOT.

Daily 10th step keeps me emotionally present.

Missing First 15 Minutes of the speaker.

Outreach calls are gestures to God that I am willing to participate.

We do not have to face this disease alone.

I was trained to be open and tell the truth.

I got the sponsor and threw myself to the steps. I wanted to make my amends abut my sponsor made me do the steps in order.

Her amends are inspirational.

35 years of service in OA has uplifted my program and my fellowship.

My 27 year amazing marriage was a direct result of OA.

I was obese and active, leave me alone.

My OA Journey started 5 years ago when I was traveling. But I didn't have a problem. Even though 5 doctors had told me to loose weight.

I was already a member of several 12 step programs but OA started to drip into my consciousness opening the door to listen and change.

OA Birthday parties always kicked my program back into gear.

Suddenly 7 months in I am in a hotel with a microwave feeding 2 for months. It wasn't pretty. I did it better each of the next 5 times.

My open heart surgery was a major turning point to make more healthy food choices . .seriously!

I have let some foods go and embraced new foods. Its a healthy adventure.

Begin anytime. and begin again anytime.

Today I am excited to see what my Higher Power has in store for me.

I was an outsider in my own family.

I ate a lot at meals and more is secret.

I discovered I judged others to feel better about myself.

Sometimes I had hard time sleeping so I found meeting for 24 hours a day.

I got recovery when I followed the program suggestions.

I can find an abstinent meal at any restaurant.

Today my life it full of 'Thank You God' moments.

My mom threw lots of money at my weight.

I came into OA for the diet. Today I will never diet again.

At my high weight I was a physical and emotional wreck.

First I wrote everything I ate, then three meals a day, incremental additions became my recovery.

I thought my Higher Power was my servant. Eventually I reversed it.

My weight loss was a by-product of focusing on my recovery.

I no longer steal my children's food.

Today rather than fixing everyone and everything My Higher Power helps me seek to adjust my mind. my attitudes, my behavior,

Three legged program - Physical, Emotional, and spiritual.

Today I am willing to wear red pants.

I went to church and had a relationship with God, Not one I liked.

Growing up I turned to food and as long as I didn't eat the last one,  avoided trouble .

My disease manifested as a single path to isolation.

Today I am surrounded by loving friends and I believe them.

22 years in program.

I am 5' 6" and was a shade under 600 lbs.

I returned after a 6 week relapse with a renewed commitment leading into a spiritual change. . but not right away.

Not only do I have a toolbox of recovery, I have learned how to use the tools and DO.

I know my problems, OA offers me the solutions.

I work the 12 steps AND the 12 traditions.

My first psychic change was in 1973  - Before OA.

I can still be willful, vindictive and have learned to make amends.

There are other weight loss programs. This is a spiritual program.

I eat my entire food plan and no more.

Today I have a conscious and continuous contact with my higher power.

My family relationships are less than perfect. So it goes.

Abstaining member of OA for more than 36 years. and a recovered liar, sneak, cheat and thief.

I was 340 LBS, miserable, my job in jeopardy and I could not stop.

I bought the book so I could find the secret.

OA didn't teach me how to eat. It taught me how to stop. . . for one day.

Little by little I made different choices and avoided certain food. OA was working in my life.

Once I was powerless over my addiction I was able to accept help from a higher power.

I get to practice not eating compulsively all day today.

I use most of the tools every day. (not big on writing)

Don't have any memory before food.

I was over 400 lbs by 14 years old.

This disease stole so much of my life.

I have always felt bodily and mentally different from my fellows.

Fear of what can happen to me only sent me deeper into the food.

Today, working the steps, being free from my food obsession, my life is a constant miracle.

I have lived in the same place long enough to have them raise my rent, What a gift.

I was stealing and lying about food as a young kid.

Supplements, diets, all worked for a short time once.

Got the 15 questions of OA in the military. Did a treatment center, Spiritual retreat and got a sponsor. Ended up more sober than abstinent.

Left military, college on GI Bill - up over 300 lbs.

Got back into OA, 4 years of abstinence but minimal recovery. led to relapse.

Once I got back I got enrolled into Service at the Intergroup level and more but stilled bounced up and down.

Today I have a sponsor, do service, stick to my food plan and am close to my goal weight and just stay here.

Everything hopeful started tomorrow, Monday or 'on the first'

I was my own worst critic.
Lies I told myself about me.  - Fat people are lazy, unlovable, ugly, have no will power, hopeless.

Compulsive overeating is a lonely pass-time.

I always wanted to be thin. I was not willing to do what I needed to do.

2008 I went back to OA through a convention. I surrendered with a prayer 'God, I can't do this alone'. I got a sponsor that weekend.

I got abstinent 4 days before Halloween.

If you are alive you will experience celebration, sorrow, love and loss. It is always easier abstinent.

Today I CAN hear the small voice that tells me 'Kara, you are OK.'

Came in at 16 but not a smooth trajectory.

Food was my solution to escape from my reality.

I would do anything to avoid my body being seen.

I was banned from the Soup Plantation.

I ended up growing up in these rooms which was very uncomfortable.

Today .  Abstinence is my only shot at a big, great life.

I choose feelings over food. I have intimate, honest relationships with other people.

I can get through anything as long as I don't try to do it alone.

Needed a Dr.s note for my first go at Weight Watchers.

I started as a Catholic and learned how to pray . . . for me.

I didn't worship God, I worshipped food.

I became super woman - alone.

Finally a therapist got me to consider I was a compulsive over eater and got to OA. So I wanted to learn the food plan.

The moment I actually said I was willing to go to any length, I had a spiritual experience. and my journey to recovery finally began for real.

I was over AND under-eater.

I noticed odd behavior as a child picking my friends by their snacks.

I only thought about what the food did for me, not what it was doing to me.

I was different Bobs with different people as any good people pleaser. No clue who I really was.

After a health scare I learned how to eat but could not do it. I heard of OA but it took 3 years to hit my bottom.

In program I dieted successfully until one fateful binge night brought the reality of my disease and my need for a sponsor and the steps to the forefront.

A food plan helped me resist the thoughts of 'I need more' 'I am full I should stop', Just stuck to my food plan.

It feels like my service work helps me more than the service I provide helps others.

Entered high school at 350, left over 500.

First OA meeting was not my people, That was not MY problem.

I lost 200 lbs by restricting and self will. That led to my relapse

Upon reentry into OA I still struggled with the steps. Finally had a spiritual experience when I committed to going to my Father's wife's funeral.

I still harbor the thought "I will never be satisfied'  Today it is not as loud and I have tools to work towards an alternative.

* * There are some gaps in the first few minutes of the recording. * *

My first time in I became Miss OA without doing any of the work.

My resentments with my father prevented from embracing a higher power. So I left

During my relapse I had Gastric Bypass AND started putting on weight.  Back to OA. This time with a Higher Power.

Meetings (4 a week), Big Book, I have a sponsor, do the steps and I do service. That is my program today.

Every day I am the best person I can be. Physically, spiritually, mentally and emotionally.

* * Missing 4 minutes of recording @ 3 minute mark. * *

When I lost my abstinence I gained the weight.

No amount of food could fill the hole in the center of my being.

My biographical timeline is marked by food.

I was a secret eater until I got found out.

Pay and weigh worked dramatically for the weight but not for the 'me'

I left the dynamics I grew up with when I went to college, But I took me with me. Back to secrets.

College went from 175  to 0ver 300. Now to work.

3 Continuous fears. Not getting what I want, Loosing what I have, or Being found out.

As my fears got bigger, my world got smaller and I was 525 lbs.

It was a year after I asked God for help before I got into the program.

Early on my life I learned how to keep secrets, and how to hate.

Morbid obesity arrived in my 20s.

While over 300 Lbs I was neurotic about what my son ate.

I did not diet. Any weight adjustments were from changes in my activity.

When I joined OA I resisted being told what to do.

I lost 125 Lbs with very little recovery.

Rich honest emotions are a gift of recovery.

Paul D from Seattle

Annual suggestion to diet and exercise got me started, for a minute.

At one time I was taken to the hospital - FOR OVEREATING

4 Cs   crisis, clarity, colliding opportunities, commitment to a spiritual solution,

A multitude of health issues should have given me a clue about my problem with food.

I discovered Buddhism was the religion of moderation - Poof I'm a Buddhist.

I have studied OA, read ALL the literature, completed the steps and got involved in service. 

I have sent a gratitude list to my sponsor for more that 1000 days.

My abstinence is about foods, behaviors and thoughts.

I had a list of things I wanted from my relationship to OA. They have come true.

6 Months before I came into the program due to my health I considered suicide.

Prior to OA I had no idea of how my life had become such a disaster.

Oatmeal chicken chicken was not for me.

My addictive foods became VERY clear to me.

Established my recovery right out of the Big Book of AA.

I have to understand it is not about lunch. It is about a fatal disease.

Today I am a healthy member of OA and society trying to do my best and be of service.

I favor sponsors with AA background and their that approach to the Big Book.

I turn to my higher power in times of stress rather than the food.

If I go back out I really will die due to my chronic health issues.

A consistent food plan is my salvation.

I share about my issues to let others know they are not alone.

I have friends outside of OA and they are Real friends.

Over 350 when I graduated HS.

On going pattern - Loose weight, have emotions, put it back.

Complacency does not support recovery.

When I had emotional pain in any form, food and sex really did help relieve it... for a while

I no longer focus on the food, I focus on my surrender. Seems to work better.

My need for acceptance led me to some REALLY BAD choices.

For me real healing must include abstinence.

Three questions for offering help.

I didn't come to OA to suffer, I came to be free. Today I am.

My process or recovery was SLOWbriety.

My Dad locked food not knowing what to do with me.

In college I had unsupervised access to all the food I wanted.

 * * Missing first 2 minutes of the talk * * *

Diets and drama worked for a minute.

I got to 12 step though my husbands' recovery.

Real recovery is more than meetings and prayer.

Terror, fear and hunger all felt the same in my body.

Yellow light foods are really red light foods I am unwilling to give up.

I was born prematurely. That was the last time I was underweight.

Growing up we showed love with food. I couldn't get enough love or food.

I did lots of diets, They all worked for a while and only once.

Every time I thought I was doing great it led to my doing poorly and then regaining my weight.

I finally surrendered into the program over a can of oysters.

At my highest weight I was using a cane. Any physical activity was a challenge.

I recently played Basketball. Different set of emotional flooded me than I was used to.

My life was finding a way to fill the void which could not even describe.

I fled from people who liked me because something had to be wrong with them.

My eating kicked in when I gave up smoking.

OA was not my first 12 step program. Any 12 step program started improving my life.

Having a structured program works for me. I want freedom of choice but that did not work.

Black was slimming ... I thought

The most important amends that I had to make,  that took the longest, was to myself.

Abstinence did not suddenly give me social skills.

Relapse is part of my story. Acknowledging in allows me to help others who may be struggling and ashamed.

My goals ended up being limiting. God had way better plans for me.

I use tool every day.

Defiance is still one of my character defects.

Today my food plan and my lifestyle activities directly support my health.

Growing up alcohol was just liquid sugar.

I was stealing food in first grade.

As youngest of 11children  I was in the 'who could loose weight' family competition in the third grade.

I failed at anorexia and bulimia.

Sugar was my 'drug' of choice.

By 22 I was over 300 lbs

Gained and lost over 100 lbs at least 6 times.

Nailed the program. Lost weight, spoke, was a super hero for a moment.

The message of OA is welcoming, supportive and available to all who want it. All excuses are accepted.

Black and white abstinence is the only thing the works for me. I don't do well with 'wiggle room'

Nothing changed until I got a sponsor.

HOW had the food plan I rejected/needed/accepted but actually led to weight loss.

I needed the program much longer than I wanted it. Today I want it.

I was told Our built in freezer would kill me. I went in all the time.

I used food to feel better. I used Alcohol to not feel at all.

I would eat as if it was I was in a blackout.

They said it's not about the food but I wasn't buying it.

Even putting down the food did not make my life manageable.

The more I try to control others the more stress I experience.

The disease gripped me in a death grip at age 30.

I would binge on appropriate foods and lots of it.

I came to OA at 33 and the welcoming made it not scary.

I keep coming back, food continues to speak to me. I act on it by making a call.

I lost weight but I also lost most of my crazy thoughts. and I have tools when they come back.

Tonight I will talk about the 12 Traditions And the principles behind each tradition.

'A great set of explanations connecting each tradition with its fundamental Principle'

Barb 9-9-88. My "in my disease" life was a minimal closed in reality.

*  Polly Q I spent years in 'white knuckle abstinence' It was not fun. and ended in relapse.

Today my abstinence is all about my relationship with my higher power

*  Beth -  Lost 140 LBS, Gained a modicum of sanity.

* Amanda - Escape artist with food as my favorite tool

My behavior was based on my addiction.

I was advised to address 'what was killing me the fastest' It was not food at that time.

*  April In program a long time but in the background. 'I'm good thanks'

Today my journey is about surrender.

In for 12, out for 12, back in 2009 to present.

Clear precise abstinence makes is the only way it is possible for me to stay abstinent.

I had a Loose/tight problem. I had to Loosen up in some areas and tighten up in others.

How I eat today is largely influenced by how I ate yesterday.

80/20 God/me.  In reality my part is much less.

A Clear description of the intention and results from OA in his life.

Could not find clothes in Paris.

I binged because I was ashamed of being fat.

In OA I was a dishonest people pleaser.

After a brief relapse I asked the scariest woman to be my sponsor.

Certain foods became poison to me.

I identified specific 'Alcoholic' behaviors to avoid.

Kimberly goes through her experiences with the steps.

My whole life became about my loosing weight. and my family agreed.

I have certain white powders which are drugs and toxins for me.

When I finally got to OA, I dove right in (meetings, steps service) and my life changed.  Who knew???

We end up lying to ourselves when we remember what food did for us and forget what it did to us.

Heavy as a child, bullied in school.

I was a good dieter but it only lasted a minute.

I actually had a accident while eating.

I knew I was home at my first meeting.

Knowing I was crazy was my first evidence of my recovery.

T. R. U. S.T   Try Really Using Steps and Traditions.

I had the moment when there was nothing but God between me and the next compulsive bite. God was there and I stayed abstinent.

I practice the principles (Steps for me  AND Traditions for my marriage) in all my affairs.

Grew up in alcoholic family. I was paid in candy to keep secrets. By both sides.

My mom took me to Weight Watchers.

The catholic God had nothing to do with my life. I had to figure it out on my own. Food was my God.

Loosing weight did not make my life beautiful.

Tried OA @ 22 for 30 seconds. Got sponsor, she fires me, I fired OA, back to sponsoring myself.

Weight and I ballooned, Health problems came on and I ended up wheelchair bound.

Today I  hear God in my heart louder than the disease in my head. Health stats are mostly back in normal ranges.The rest are getting there.

I know it kicked in around 5 years old.

It was suggested that more will power would help me with my food misuse. Nahhhh

Diet was the next answer.

I went to my first OA meeting when I was 11.

Eating Rehab in high school. Way to much talking talking talking. If you lost weight- you got my attention.

Sponsoring myself led to relapse, weight gain, and more pain.

Got a sponsor, took direction, had great results and took all the credit. . . relapse.

Finally in 2005 I truly connected with the program.

I was hospitalized at age 6 from overeating, I was 65 years old when I entered OA.

YoYo was me. I guess I'm not the only one.

I had a lower body aneurysm that brought serious health issues. but I ignored it until I came into OA.

I was known as 'The Sleeper' At Wendy's, at the movies, at the wheel.

Weight training became an important part of my physical recovery.

I committed for one year, After the year I did not want to go back.

I couldn't loose weight, even for $5000 dollars.

Even my therapist convinced me I was different.

I was NOT a dieter.

Once in OA I never left. There really was nowhere else for me to go.

I was full of anger. OA has released me from that aura.

I even want the best for my Ex-husband - BIG Miracle.

Today I can truly look at food as art, and not miss it as food.  Really.

My Life in college was my personal brown out. Everything was dim and half power.

Health issue had me stop sugar, flour etc. It did not go well.

I went to OA because I recognized I had cravings.

Embracing my feelings was a long time coming. I am still working on it.

 I heard about OA from a speaker in another 12 step program.

Surprisingly a boyfriend didn't fix me.

For me, 3 meetings a week are required for my recovery to progress.

Today my daily routine includes morning and evening rituals.

My willingness to make ammends is now, When I get to do it is up to God,

9 years of not quite abstinent = Lying

Change in recovery is not about pain, it's a about growth.

I still don't like hearing "It takes time".

I still send my food in, do service, make a ton of calls. It seems to work

Cheryl B 10 Min
First time in program I got weight loss and little more.

Anne T 20 Min
Several periods of multiple year abstinence.

I learned to binge on food in my food plan. result = 40 lbs.

**There is a missing 65 seconds after 1:30. **

This day 42 years ago was my first OA Meeting.

Top weight over 400 lbs. Came into OA at 380.

I was an Atheist and completely unwilling to be converted.

By 16 years I was deep into relapse and terrified of being seen but went to a convention.

For the last 15 years I continue to work the steps and improve my spiritual life.

Growing up in an abusive home, in college and grad school  my best friend was sugar/candy.

My life was one crisis after another. One is not enough including suicide attempts.

I went from 88 lbs to 223 and everything in between for 40 years.

I was having physical problems, labelled as obese and that got my attention, getting me into OA.

Started out only willing to call my sponsor daily. Eventually I was gifted with abstinence.

I have had the same body for 10 years and today I love it.

I get something new every time I go the the AA Big Book. How could Bill Wilson know how I felt about my hopelessness?