I always want to be profound but I have to remember it is not about me.

 I came in in 2003 after weight  loss surgery. Since I was already loosing weight I did not embrace OA right away. Half measures at best.

After 7 months I started gaining.  Then I became desperate and honestly worked the steps. I got into service bit if you called me at home I wouldn't answer.

It did not hold and I eventually went into relapse until 2021.

I heard the BAA Big book should be read like a text book. My recovery really started when I embraced that. 

My mother was a huge part of my recovery, 4th, 8th, 9th steps were transformational.

Going from I cannot stop, 

I was an exercise  bulimic before I knew what it was and still gained weight.

Found OA went to a few meetings and decided to do it myself which failed miserably. 

I have been abstinent for 22 years and still call y sponsor every day (I am on my third sponsor).

I sponsored early and it worked great. I stayed abstinent and so did some of them .

Started with pictures. Young pictures don't indicate major  problem yet.

Got dismissed from Marine Corp because I could not maintain the weight standard.

By 2007 many areas of my life were out of control

Came into OA over 300 lbs 

Today I stay under 200 with my doctor acknowledging my program and results.

I can have a 'gutter ball day' but a 10th step puts me back on track.

Came in over 500 Lbs

My portion was bag box and carton or more.

My problem was my bondage of self.  Food wasn't my problem, it was my solution.

I was the result of what happened to me as a shild which I cannot change I can change how I react.

Taking the next right action was/is My form of willingness.

I didn't believe it could work for me but I did it anyway.

At 419 I was in the hospital being told I HAD to loose weight or die think giving up my 'friend' was that same as death.

The moment I was willing to ask for real help, that I could not do it alone was the beginning or the relief from the bondage of self.

OA in not a program of learning. it is unlearning my way.

Diabetic, fatty liver disease and less than 30 years old.

Finally got it in 2008 after my third son. In until 2012 and not back until 2021

Started sneak eating around 8 years old. It didn't stop.

I reset my time over a year ago because I was eating abstinent food compulsively.

I am honest about my food. It may nor be perfect but I tell the truth

Now I have a service position at every one of my regular meetings.

My marriage was in danger when I came into the program. Working MY programs helps my marriage.

My friends in the program tell me the truth especially when I don't want to hear it.

Maintaining 70 LB weight loss for 17 years.

I was a sugar addict as long as I can remember.

My first diet at 11 years old and it never ended Thin, fat, thin, fat, thin, fat ........ every diet worked for a minute.

After multiple diets my food plan became 'I'll eat whsaever I want' up to 185.

My first OA meeting was a sugar addict abstinent fro 22 years. That got my attention.

I just kept going understanding little. It was a service position that changed it for me. People got to know me, I fell a part of.

I know from experience the first bite of sugar will take me out.

Today I have a great life because my daily routine is based on this program from before I get out of bed until I fall asleep with another day of abstinence.

My favorite prayer is 'God please help me.' Great for anytime.

I was 250 feeling different and alone.

I thought all sorts of crazy things would be a good idea. all looking for the right diet.

Today I no longer have to kill myself from the inside any more.

While in my weight uncomfortable is a major understatement.

I had been able to get thin . . . for a minute.

I never forget the humiliation of needing a seat belt extender.

I have yet to do a perfect say and it is reflected with my nightly 10th step.

The steps were transformational. not easy or fast but I followed directions and it changed my world . for the better.

I was 'chubby' by 10.

As I got older I got heavier and lonlier.

I lost my first 100 pounds early in high school. But I was still discontent and drooped out in 10th grade.

20 - 30 yrs old - Loose weight, get job, gain weight, loose job  and blamed the world.

In 1999 I ended in CA, lost 150 on my own and I had arrived . for a minute.

I ended in OA, was loosing weight and I was my God.

I got a sponsor, followed Direction, did the steps, had appropriate results and ended up employed.

My recovery is dependent upon by being honest and I have proved the difference.

My relationship with my higher power is my lifeline which I hold dearly and daily,

Compulsive overeater shares experience.

I was not a fat kid but was still obsessed with food.

Unhealthy childhood led to a plethora of issues arriving over the years.

I used a complicated plan of compulsive eating, drugging, exersizing to maintain what I wanted.

I came into OA relatively small and put on all my weight in programs. 

I put on 100 lbs with my first pregnancy and I was sober.

Steps 1-3 getting right with god, 4-9 getting right with people, 10-12 rocketed into the 4th dimension.

Things I have learned, Crisis thoughts pass. So I wait.

An abstinent member of OA shares her journey or recovey

Lynette 

AN Abstinent member shares her story.

In OA 18 Years, Up and down 100 multiple times in and out of OA.  Currently 4 years.

I used to think food was my problem. Life was my problem. Food was my solution.

I was sure being overweight I would get Covid and die but it did not stop me.c

In all `18 years I never left OA but i definitely hopped around meetings, sponsors, food plans.

I knew I could not do it alone, but I kept trying and THAT failed.

Behind a picture at an OA birthday I heard what I needed to jump back into the program for real.

Staying in the chair is not enough. I needed a sponsor and to work the steps and to do service.

Missed 1st 30 Seconds - Dow Compulsive over eater also celebrating 38 years sober.

I first got abstinent through HOW program.

In abstinence I remembered things I had suppressed.

I got sober at 31, quit smoking and ate to stuff all the feeling and it worked.

I was not willing to give up the food. 

No wonder I couldn't connect with God, I was worshiping my refrigerator.

Maintaining my abstinence is related to my being of service.

Feb 20, 2025 =8 years

I grew up in dysfunctional family like so many others. 

Food felt like an escape.

The voice of my disease told me I needed a smaller body. what ever it was.

I knew the squeaky tiles in my house so I could sneak to the fridge.

I became completely obsessed with food and my body.

I cried a LOT in the beginning. 

Now,  for me, it is OK to be vulnerable, I realize I am not the center of the universe. Living in the grey area is equivalent to being right sized.

My criticism of me can be as damaging as the food.

Today working my program includes sponsoring and being sponsored, being of service and living the principles in all my affairs

From Early childhood always full plates. Both parents were compulsive eaters. 

I learned how to sneak food without being heard or discovered.

I was the only kids in the point system program with my mom. I did not get it and hated it.

i went to college at about 300 lbs. I learned all about nutrition but it didn't help me.

My parents encouraged me to try OA. Much of my life was working but not my food.

I did my first meeting on Zoom and cried and still felt at home.

In the beginning is was all about the weight and I did not embrace all the work

The steps helped me to acknowledge I was perfectly imperfect.

The concept of a higher power did not come easily but it has come to me.

Even if I don't enjoy me feelings I allow them without turning to the food one day at a time.

Very active childhood. Family outdoor activities. 

I was driven to seek attention and approval. so I excelled.

It was a slow weight gain spanning 30 years, 2 kids 

Occasional diets led to a short term dip but adding more eventually.

I was led to the 15 questions and passed. I belonged.

There 5 OA Actions that worked for me.

Compulsive Overeater shares her journey of recovery.

By the time i was 21 I needed to give up a plethora of inappropriate behaviors. Food was my drug of choice. 

My dad paid me for every pound I lost.

I could present well but hated myself on the inside regardless of how I looked.

I raised my hand for my 'First 30 days' for 4 months.

Finally i have not had sugar since 1985

I was sober for 4 years but my world was grey because of my food.

I thought OA abstinence would be a daily struggle to not eat.

I no longer hate myself. There is more to improve but now it is because I love  self enough to change.

My higher power took away the self hate causing me to eat sugar.

I was filled with anger and resentment.

I weighed in at 370 for cancer surgery.

I don't remember how I found OA. At that time I was a wreck on many levels.

I was in program briefly and quit for 28 years.

I went on a brutal binge when my brother died.

Today I will go to any lengths for my recovery. That insures  I have received the gifts of the program. I am adjusting my character. I read with my sponsee. I embrace the prayers and the slogans to remind me of what is appropriate.

My mom, when she cooked it was for six kids even though there was just me.

I was a people pleaser but I never felt it was real.

My brother was a drug addict who got clean and introduced me to concepts of the 12 step programs.

I went to AA because that is all I ever heard of. I got a sponsor who was also in OA and led me there. He was my higher power. He passed away. I left.

Found me way back. My 3rd sponsor help me actually get a relationship with a higher power and got me writing in my big book.

My Nuggets
Our  mind can complicate anything to avoid taking action.
Only the first step can be done perfectly.
Don't use the 4th step as a tool to beat yourself up..
When I would get upset I learned to pray for them immediately. It changed me.
The process of finding the answer can be more important than the answer.

in program 15 years with intermittent abstinence until I found my current one.

My first meeting in 78 but resisted the God talk.

Married, one child maintaining weight. No so for second child.

I realized I could start my abstinence mid day.

After my First OA Retreat I left food on my plate and experience grief.

Retreat in 98 asked what I was bringing rather to  than what I was getting from the meeting and the program.

Today I am a service junkie at all levels of OA.

I often bookend my meals with a phone call as a reason to reach out and to stay on track.

First 10 minutes of recording failure. recording starts @ 9.40 into pitch. First few notes about it

It all started with a new years resolution to loose weight.  In November I joined OA.

Richard Burton is my higher Power.

My anger issue got much better. I did not want to make amends.

A half gallon of ice cream did never got its lid put back.

I began to consider what others a might be going through. Acting the same at work as in meetings.

I do not eat white flour, white sugar, white potatoes, and cheese.

My credit card debt got handled by my abstinence.

I set up Thursday Live meeting and get to share with people every week. Great community.

Before; I was extremely shy, no social skills, compete introvert.

My grandmother made three bowls of M&Ms for me and my sisters. I always compared who had the most until I found the 1 lb bag.

I really discovered amazing food in college and there was no monitor. I studied and 'mastered' Bulimia.

Food and alcohol were my paired vices. 

I joined the beverage program but still purged to handle my food- sort of.

Finding OA I was asked if I was willing.....  I thought "No', said "yes and did it.

Today I have a program, Do service to insure I go to meetings. 

I have an appropriate amount of personal drama to keep my life interesting maintain my abstinence.

OA - Topped out at 285 

I have tried to use exercise to outrun my compulsion.

I tried fasting. diet pills, protein shakes, all failws quickly.

In 2014 I came back for the third time and embraced OA Recovery adjacent.

I finally embraced the concept of red light foods and held to it... for 4 years.

A workshop called 'Sober Eating' really buttoned up my current recovery,

I have a sponsor, I have service commitments, I have sponsees, I have a daily ritual focusing in my recovery.

Tech issue this week, No promo details.

A great speaker and has spoken several times in the past year.

I am not a 100 pounder so I would compare (I'm not that bad)  in the beginning. 

I used food to anesthetize myself and it worked in my youth.

I was known in my family as a sneak eater.

Somewhere I knew it wasn't all about the food but I still thought it was about the food.

I was a sneak eater even when I didn't have to. Holidays were a time when I didn't have to sneak. But I still did.

Relationships were a trigger for weight gain.

I was clear that God could not help me with my food.  But he did.

I spent a long time just dipping my toe in the program confidant that I already had it because of my other program.

Finally getting a sponsor, listening to him, working the steps through the the lens of OA. 

Eventually things were happening that I could not do. Thus a higher power became present for me.

The box In which I placed my HP  continues to get bigger,

Grew up in a small town.

Married and unmarried at 19. Married once more in 2014 until present.

I called OA and the conversation just calmed me. She is still my sponsor today.

I cleaned my pantry of any foods I would be sad about loosing. 

I learned alternative ways of handling my emotions rather than binging.

I lost 80 lbs.got pregnant and lost that weight.

Maintenance has been a challenge. The traditions are important fore recovery. I personalize them and use them as the basis for my relationships.

My relationship with my HP has helped my emotional stability and to make better choices. 

Skinny until 15.

My family was full of chaos. Food was my friend for home and school.

I was always hustling to get money to buy what I wanted. I was a very unskilled thief.

I was over 260- was prescribed diet pills and made it down to 190.

Food was only one of the bad choices I made which cost me my marriage. 

In mid 30's I got almost to 300.

First introduced to How and it worked for a while as a diet for the wrong reasons. got up to 350.

OA has hooked my up with a higher power. Today I live OA, Use the tools.

When moving, I would clean the refrigerator with my mouth.

They asked me to read at my first meting. What I read did not resonate with me.

I was told to 30 in 30 and being an over achiever I complied but still didn't really get the program. and it didn't last long.

I finally asked God for help to get home with eating and it worked. My eyes, ears and heart began to open.

I did the steps in a week and a half. full time and thoroughly. however 9, 10 and 11 were hard for me to grasp. If something was defective a wanted to throw it a way.

Eventually I embraced that I was the problem. 

Great recovery for 14 months, then relapsed in 1990. A spiritual experience brought me back for good.

I began my journey onto my food addiction at 18 years old

I always felt different and like I didn't fit in.  Food was my friend.

My pattern was binge and purge

I left home at 20.

I married my 'project' to change my behavior.

Each of my pregnent was a major weight gain followed by dramatic  weight loss.

Started OA in '88 but abstinence didn't start until I did treatment in '90

Multiple long term relapses became my story. driven by My Will.

When I finally connected with my higher power my life really got better.

Free from binging and purging from Nov 1986 thanks to God

I did all the nasty things overeaters do. No normal suggestions helped at all.

When I am talking, I am not learning.

I have fallen in love with my Higher Power. and I believe he returns the favor.

My God was big enough to help me with the IRS.

Not all my dramas have happy endings but I do get through them and stay abstinent.

i had to take the first step before I joined OA. I knew I had a problem.

I have a daily reprieve. I wake up and the work starts. Te 12 steps are about Ego reduction.

Self help books, workshops or pictures did not help.

I went to my first meeting,saw God on the wall and walked out. I did not come back for a year.

I had amazing weight loss in the first 9 months. and realized I was on my way out without the steps.

Through grace I surrendered and became teachable.

The ones who helped me the most in the  beginning have passed on. I am their legacy and carry their message.

I experienced a great deal of challenges in my 1st 37 years. I now believe I was born an addict, regardless of my traumas.

Life has thrown me a bunch of more challenges. The steps help me survive  and flourish in the face of new adversity that I face.

I was pretty normal as a child, athletic 6'4". 
Eating did not kick until my thirties going up to 360.

I had a family and kids, seemingly normal, however on my way home for a family dinner I would stop at multiple drive-thrus to pre-binge before going home to eat another dinner with dessert.  I could hide the nags but not the smell.

A diagnosis of diabetes and a need to  inject insulin sent me to a drive in.  Another 4 years before getting to OA.

When I left my job for a 'Sabbatical' to focus on my heath the reality was my overeating became my full time job.

Jan 1999  admitted my addiction and my recovery in OA began at 400 LBS

I eventually got a letter from my doctor indicating I was diabetes free.

Today I have a sponsor and I am a sponsor.

I put bows in my hair to keep focus on my head and not my body.

I did well with pay and weigh programs, therapies, diets, everyone worked once. I wanted to have my jaw wired shut.

I got up over 300 lbs after grey sheet helped me loose 40  lbs.

I did not understand the concept of alcoholic foods.

I bounced in and out of multiple 12 steps programs searching for the perfect program, the perfect sponsor etc. I would not surrender to anything completely. I manipulated everybody and everything to do it my way.

God is definitely doing for me what I will not do for myself. Ordering from a fast food the machine is broken. lots of times.

Today I am willing to look in a mirror and say 'Judy- I love you"  and mean it.

Today I have daily rituals for my recovery which keep me emotionally and physically stable.

3 Factions OA. Strict, Loose and in between. They all can work. The trick is to find what works for you.

I am a compulsive eater and compulsive dieter. I think I have lost over 2000 lbs

I quickly realized OA was much more than a weight loss program.

My current weight loss that I have maintained for 14 years is over 100 lbs and I am not looking for it.

Even after attaining my target weight I was not satisfied with me.

Who - Did I eat differently around someone.
What - What food might be creeping in that did not serve me.
Where- Were there slippery places where I tended to stretch the boundaries of my food plan. Always best at home.
When - Was there a time of day that simply called me to eat.
Why - What was I telling myself that was not true.

Today I eat to live rather than live to eat.

Growing up we did not have a lot of food so we ate all we could when we could.

Stayed thin through college and marriage until my first child. Then it was on.

I was tricked to going to my first meeting unwilling to acknowledge my issue initially.

Embraced the program slowly. Did not get a sponsor until after a year. I managed a food plan because of my health issues not because has surrendered.

Today I honestly work my food and my life with my sponsor. 

Today I don't eat over the choices I make Good or bad.

Providing service  whenever I can keeps my locked in to the program. Those I sponsors keep me grounded in the basics which is what I need.

I know the program works because it has worked for me and I have seen it work for others over and over again.

Even with multiple physical and mental issues it was in these rooms I finally felt safe.

I couldn't deal with my diagnoses and it took it toll bringing me into 3 programs. I would rather be an addict than have a mental issues.

I had to write a letter about why I hated OA. Pretty revealing.

Eventually I stopped blaming everyone else and accepted responsibility for my action. thus started my real recovery.

I use multiple outside experts instead of self diagnosing, self medicating and failing. 

I am embracing being a healthy woman, in a healthy body with healthy relationships.

I do service which keeps me in the center of the herd.

I work the steps and embrace the traditions to the best of my ability.

My emotions may jump around but they are authentic.

In program almost 40 years.

Both parents into their own addictions.

I could manage my food, it wasn't that bad . . . until it was that bad.

7-11 Was my downfall as i promised to start over every day.

I was leading a double life as psychotherapist and food addict.

In the beginning  (first 10 years) I made the group my Higher Power. so I left the program because I wanted to have a normal life. Back after 3 years.

Came back and ended up weighing and measuring for the next 10 years. Knew it well enough that I left the program.

Next time was a big book study. Finally got that my spiritual problem manifested with my food.

Today I have food neutrality.

I am still peeling the onion. It just never stops but today I appreciate it. 

I started early 3 or less. There were no boundaries and no safety. I just wanted to be loved but food  gave me that feeling.

I was a 'chubby' kid and felt shamed even at the doctor's office.

I was 6 with my  first diet. It became a way of life proving my unworthyness.

Food became the cause and the solution of my shame.

My dad dies when I was 16. He was the only one who i felt loved me unconditionally. Now I was alone and leaned into the food like never before.

16 - 49 in my disease.

Married  kids and food.

My last nine months was a sneaky brutal binge threatening every I thought was important.

I finally acknowledged I had a God sized problem I could not handle alone

I realized a food plan is an act of self love while a diet would be an act of self hate.

The gift of desperation kicked my recovery into gear. Moving me into the steps  for real.

Staying in the present where it is always Now O'Clock is critical.

Started with sweetened and condensed milk and our family was a member of the 'clean plate club'

When I left home at 17 it was Game on! 

I was not connected to my body and always shocked when I saw a reflection.

When my husband left I stopped drinking but food took over. 

At 60 I went to my AA sponsor about my weight and they suggested OA  in 2012 (287 lbs)

I got a food plan from a nutritionist. 

I would get a little time. one bite - - then more again.

Finally got solid abstinence Oct 2020. dealt with all the feelings I had suppressed mostly about me.

Today i know the phrase 'Not My Food'  and use it.

Feb 11, 2020  398 lbs  I was still not ready to 'surrender' I fell and needed fire department to get me up.  Then I was ready.

I have maintained a 185 lb weight loss.

Spirituality - Humbug. It was about the weight in the beginning.

I worked the steps and learned about me. One step at a time.

I ended with a very strict food plan but could do it for one day . . .at a time.

I made it back to the top of the Bariatric surgery list but HP said "do Nothing". By the time came to sign on the dotted line they said I had already lost what they would anticipate from the surgery.

Even when I couldn't show up for myself I showed up for service.

My HP shows himself to me daily as I work with others.

Condensing 43 years into a 20 minute talk

I was eating anything I could as long as I can remember. Rather than a defect my eating was a defense.

I took massive amount of diets pills. and YoYoed on the heavy side of the Yo.

I married and got pregnant. the doctor said my my weight could harm the child. I did not care. Gave birth at 300.

In 1981, at 329, I planned to eat until died . 6 Months later I went to OA. 6 months later I got a sponsor.

I was dilegant n my food plan, got down to 115 and still my life was not perfect.

Relapsed, plus 65 lbs, and finally back- against my will into OA in 1997

Today My life is OA and OA is my life. I do service, outreach, sponsor, read literature and immerse myself in the lore of OA. 

Any appropriate social skills I have today I learned in OA.

OA Speakers,100 pounder, Hundred Pounder, Millcreek, KaraL

I was an obese baby.  First diet at 5 years old. In my family compulsive overeating was our life.

There was never any leftover candy in our house 

Fat was  not a problem, it was who we were.

I learned to diet and was successful, for a minute.

As I was loosing weight I would think about what I was going to eat at the end of the diet.

1st time in OA I lost weight, broke abstinence and put all weight back on.

2nd time came back on really fast.

God did not sprinkle pixie dust on me to relieve the compulsion.

Eventually using tools, a sponsor, a higher power it is working one day at a time.

I came in to OA in 1975 at 25 years old, 340 Lbs. and have been in 50 years.

I lost jobs because of my weight. They could do it and told me so.

Started with grey sheet food program.

You guys spoke honesty and I did not know that language. 

I had a huge issue with the spiritual components of the program. I was sure we didn't meditate in La Hambra, CA.

Today I sponsor, do service, travel, and have a good life. 

Originally in OA in '88.  I had a problem with lookalikes. Sugar free type alternatives to red light foods.

At events I would click the disposable cameras so I was always behind the camera, never in front,

I experienced the progressive nature of the disease. 5 year  first relapse, 3 years second, then 1 year

Embracing Step one perfectly is required to eliminate the first compulsive bite

I wore scrubs because the had all sizes and pockets.

I did have Bariatric  surgery but did not tell anyone due to expecting program judgement. It was me projecting my own judgment back at myself.

My mother was Manic/Depressive and a Compulsive Over-eater.

When I was 9 , my older 19 Year old brother was hity by drunk driver and was in a coma for 3 months. I needed more allowance to buy more candy.

I went to diet DR. at 16. Goal weight in a week. Game on!

What ever I did. I didn't look good enough. 

In 1976 I wen to OA, They sent me to AA and my food took off.

Much later (2013)I was working in chemical dependency and weighed 230.. They intervened and sent me to OA.

Today abstain from some foods, write it down and eat consciously. Now down 110 lbs.

The love, support and inspiration I get in OA keeps my heart open to so much. A home group and Service position keeps me in the middle of the herd.

I grew up in NY and a large Italian Family. Eating was a sacred ritual.

I needed to learn to protect myself from my brother.I protected my self with food up to over 500 lbs. Everyone felt it was OK to give me advice.

My wife passed in 2020 presenting my with major life choice. 

I had the bypass surgery but statistics told me I might need more help. OA was that help. I originally thought they were nice because they paid by the pounds  loose.

I learned my phone could be used for more than just ordering take-out,

I became willing to change  so I did with help I could not have imagined was available. Help  is so much more than advice.

Both parents alcoholic so I grew up in a dysfunctional environment.

My father killed himself rather than stop drinking. 

I treated my body like garbage can for drugs, alcohol. and food. Sober at 31.

Even though I was around the 12 step community I was outside as I was still eating compulsively.

I was in and out of OA for years. Couldn't do it my way. I didn't need meetings I 'Lived' the program. Not.
I completely forgot what meetings did 'for' me 

After 2 seizures, multiple brain surgeries and a commitment I ended up surrendering to the OA Program.

Today I am working to be more God centered than self centered. I am of service and have a quality of life I can rely on.

Bulimia and anorexic was an eating disorder, I was just overweight.

Every day was the same,Great intentions, Break my intentions and then beat myself up.

I am a poster child for step one. with an allergy of the body and obsession of my mind.

Today i am living the definition of abstinence. for 12 years

Resentments are the thought' The past didn't go my way'. My fears are the thought the 'The future will not go my way.

There was a lot of time between my coming to OA in 1988 and the start of my current abstinence in 2011.

Pictures. Shame based eating even very young.

No matter how poorly I was treated growing up no one treated me worse than I did.

Joined the military to loose weight, it worked AND I was dismissed for failure to maintain below weight limit.

Came into program 2008 and followed direction. I has worked ever since.

Even at a good weight I am still working on the authentic Domingo 

Today I like others, I like me and value those relationships.

I use the big book, steps and tools of this program for any problem that comes up.

I wear my program like a loose garment. there is room for me to be me inside this program.

Even though we have unique stories there s a common thread that joins us.

I Have one picture form 2004. I have not been there for a long time but i could be me tomorrow.

I thought I could control EVERYTHING.

I wrote a new plan for my food and my life every Sunday. Worked perfectly until Monday noon.

All my self hate was projected on to other people.

What brought me into OA was an event where I dramatically picked my food over  my kids. 

I got a sponsor who remains with me today. 

I have a morning ritual based on the direction I would like to face today.

Every day My relationship with my food reflects my relationship with my world.

My higher power holds my n a tight string .

2010

5 years old eating rolled balls of bread, chubby and judged by my parents

Evan heavy I excelled in athletics just to prove my dad wrong.

I had a feeling, I needed to eat.

I maintained a weight loss with hours of excersize and handfuls of laxatives.

in 2015 I went to an Xmas party and partook of the food to the fullest.

Early 2016 I started meetings for 9 moths with no food plans,steps or honesty. 

I just recently got honest on al levels and the difference is palpable. I am using all the tools. 

My anger has been replaced with tolerance .

I was large as a child. first meeting August 1988 and the recovery started.'

I grew up in an unsafe household. with multiple candidates fr 12 step work. 

When I started babysitting all my money went for food. 

I ended up in the biggest size I could find. No where to go.

The laughter pissed  me off. It took a while for me to have the change.

I got a life, i started dancing in recovery, I have a sponsor and I am a sponsor. Gone through steps multiple times, and continue to find new things.

A morning ritual is a core component of my program.

My last relapse was during the pandemic by overeating abstinent food. 

My food plan is pretty tight, I take my food with me most of the time.

Wide weight swing - 5'8' and 108lbs  And way up.

Confusing childhood. Finish you food, you're fat but a later a reality check indicated I was not.

I was given 'Metrical' as a kid. On the cleanup I could finish lots of plates.

Protein shakes lost weight fast. seemed like a plan. until every parts of my life was compulsive including fasting, excersize, weighing myself, drugs and alcohol.

I sober first in '82. My sponsor suggested OA which I had never heard of. They were my people. and fell into the program. 

After a year of success and weighl loss I shifted my addiction to men. and  up to 360.  next time into the program it took all the lessons and truly embraced it long term.

I was fat and teased by my family

Came into OA 55 years old, 130 lbs overweight with 30 years sobriety.

Recently I was at a party that had EVERYTHING that was of my list , abstained and had a great time actually relating with my family.

None of my alcoholic foods are in the produce aisle.

Accountability is still uncomfortable for me.

Long timers mentioned they do service, so I got involved in service.

As a result of my abstinence I am able to learn so much about OA, its working, the tools and Zoom etc y and offer it back when needed. 

It is important for me to attend strong meetings where people ave gone through all the steps.

My weight popped between first and second grade. Food helped me handle my home life.

Admitting I was a compulsive eater was easy. Surrendering to the program - not so easy.

I developed daily practices,  had a spiritual connection and i was working. When it slipped, I slipped for about a year.

When I came back I embraced the reality of the program and my life changed - for the better.

Meeting my current husband (11 years) was only be possible because I was using the tools of recovery in all my affairs.

I continue to do the steps in a variety of ways each revealing something different.

Today I ask myself questions about how I can improve and then act on the answers.

Addictive family, Dinner was a challenge. A smorgabord  of food behaviors.

My first obsession was bread and I knew enough that is brought me sham

My first real addiction was cocaine and it helped me eat less. Exercise bulimia was also part of my story.

When drugs and alcohol left my left there was room for food.

Being in 2 12 step programs, heard of OA and one more time I found a way to not belong.

I discovered my emotional triggers fro binging and continue to do the work one day at a time.

OA Really did save my life.

1999  5x shirts .'6'4''  over 400 lbs,type 2  diabetes

I remember Mary G.,  the person who first greeted me at my first meeting. I identified as a compulsive over eater not realizing I was taking the first step. She was diagnosed with cancer,and always shared she wanted to die sober and abstinent.

Abstinence gave me the ability to have continuous improvement in every area of my life.

Coming into OA I have lost weight ans gained skills

Started with junk food early in my youth. I powered through sugary, snacks.

My physical activity offset my eating unll I got married.

I treated myself with bags from the gas stations.

Food programs never worked long term.

Covid was a disaster for me and my food intake.

I was in another program but had never heard of OA. When I did find out I jumped in with the help of the meetings i went to.

My program has not been perfect but never left my meetings. I continue to learn in practice personal skills which are bringing me a great life.

I lived in LA when they started 100 Pounder meetings.

I became and addict in infancy with teabags filled with sugar instead of a pacifier.

I married at 17 to get away from my parents. I was not anything resembling a adult relationship.

Came to OA first in 1976 In LA embraced the grey sheet food plan an lost 140 lbs. and relapsed as a blackout eater in and out for 7 years.

Took me a long time to connect my weight with my food.

Finally got it abstinence coming up on 40 years continuously.

When I came to OA in 92 I was broken. They asked me to read at my first meeting. I said "I can't read, I'm new" - Really?

I call my disease my Lower Power.

I will go through the 15 newcomer questions to confirm I qualify. I do.

Today I am half the man I was both in weight and size.

My relationship with my Higher Power, service and the steps are the foundation for my recovery.

I excelled in academics to hide my insecurities up through scholarship in undergrad and flunked out at Grad level.

I am a sugar addict, Not a normal eater. I ended up suicidal in a locked ward.

I tried going Vegan which was really not compatible with my body.

My first 12 step program was ACA, Finally into OA where I learned I had to clean up other addictions to be sober in OA. Today I am active in 3 programs.

My motto is to do more of what works and less of what doesn't.

I continue to work the steps out of the big book examining my part and what basic instincts are out of whack. i do a little every night.

I do a little every day. 

I was not wanted and ended in an orphanage. I was adopted by parents who had their own personal and relationship issues.

Big as a child and picked on at school. 

At 20 I worked in LA, saw diet DRs, used speed and lost weight with unintended consequences.

Got married for all the wrong reasons.

Failed at DRs food plan, Did not qualify for bypass surgery, Was sent to OA - the free one. Eventually leaned into the program.

The miracles started kicking in and have not stopped.

"Missed first few minutes, Mike G, amung a crew of guys whose sole purpose was to eat BBQ and lots of it. REALLY LOTS!!!"

My BBQ band was my way of being. I would eat tons, publicly, deliberately and proudly.

I came into OA 

My sponsor suggested go to 3 meals a day and 5 things I don't eat.

Meetings made it seem real. I was doing the deal. Others were doing the deal. Eating was my connection- now it is OA.

Now I sponsor men and i REALLY do care about them.

I came in with a list of what my higher power was not. I found I could determine what it would be.

My food is now a gift from my higher power building me, nutritionally, 

I used to used food to keep my rage down. it pooped out as I recovery. I stayed the course and have some scene of emotional sobriety, appropriate reactions to life

Grew up as a perfectionist which served me well during that time.

Always overate. No amount of education would help.

Drifted near OA but left when I realized there were no 'cheat days'. Like my Birthday.

I next came back for a while dabbling as OA 'adjacent' I knew the word but not the behavior.

I finally accepted that I am NOT the best judge of what I should be eating. 

Member of multiple 12 step programs. 

I am retired and more to hang by the fridge.

I grew up in alcoholic home. and learned to avoid everything with all five children with working addictions. 

My brother was morbidly obese and recently passed away.

I learned to use food to escape, specially at night.. Dinner . then the junk until I passed out.

I do the first three steps before every meal.  I slows me down to eat mindfully so I know when I am full. Helps me feel satisfied.

If I don't go to meetings I can forget and end up listening to my disease rather than my sponsor.

There are lots of opportunities for service. It really make a difference for my recovery and helps others...

I took notes during meetings and used the notes as a topic for sharing during outreach calls.

First OA meeting 1979. i@ 230 and  binging chocolate.

I learned to ' Act as If' i believed these suggestions might possible help. Regardless of whether I 'Felt like it' or 'Believed it' or 'Liked it'

I weigh and measure my food. 'Sharing pictures'

The weight of my body and the weight of the food I eat are the touchstones of truth. 

I was willing to go to any lengths and it has worked. 

Good to have a home group where you know them and they get to know you. 

I came to my first OA meeting early, thought it was a free weight watchers. 

My family enjoys exercise and outdoorsy stuff. 

My dad put a padlock on the pantry for me and a padlock on the liquor cabinet for my brother.

For a long time my I thought the most important thing was that I was not slim. Being fat was the cause for all my problems.

In 1999 I went to OA full of shame the whole meeting  but kept coming back.

Physical recovery was the last thing I achieved.

I know I am either maintaining or gaining. That thought helps me stay on course.

Came into OA through Al-Anon.

I grew up in a dysfunctional home and coped by being good and eating, supressing any emotions and pretending to be what they wanted.

I accepted a suggestion from my wife, went to an OA meeting and knew I had found my people.

I fell in line, got a sponsor worked the steps lost weight. Lost my sponsor, stopped working the steps and some weight came back on.

Today with a new sponsor I am  working steps like a newcomer and my recovery is coming back.

I still wanted to be my own higher power or let other be that Power That has changed with my surrender to the OA Program. 

Now I am turning everything I can over to my HP and my life is getting better.

The more honest I am with my steps the more I discover. 

I am gaining acceptance of things that happened,things I have done and myself.

My core family emotion was rage. Learned to ask for NOTHING.

As an anorexic I was not connected to my hunger until I was way overdue for food and then I binged. 

I entered recovery by removing all sharp knives and having my friends hide them from me.I was not well.

Today I still weigh and measure my food at home.

Every step has life lessons. 

My food plan is redundant - That works well for me.

I have been with my food sponsor for 30 years. He knows me well.

My friends are in recovery.

I am in other 12 step programs. I have to be good in all 3 to call myself 'sober'

Topped out over 300 LBS  Now I have 44 years abstinent.

I was overweight early and hated myself growing up

I was berated by my family.  Went to first OA meeting at 17 in 1973.

I had lots of difficulties with the steps The grey sheet helped me loose weight. . . A lot of weight. but not for long. 

I ate my way into the threat of diabetic blindness. All my reasons for avoiding OA were trashed my first meeting back.

I was full of resentments and did not want to be told what to do.

Eventually I began the inner work and got better results in my body but specially in my mind. There are always reasons to eat. Better reason to abstain.

My parents were both Holocaust survivors which brought food issues.

My parents in the food business which made it easy for me to catch this disease.

In 4th grade was prescribed  Speed.  as time went on I tried many prescription drugs as well as the pay and weigh.

Working at Knotts Berry Farm there were rides I was not allowed to ride.

I got a newcomer pack, read it, learned it and eventually figured i would be here for the long haul. 

In OA with a sponsor I got the unconditional love I was desperately seeking from my family.

I continue to learn in this program.

I went to AA Meetings to support another and it filtered into me and my food.

Even with sponsors I went insane with dieting. which led me away from the program.

In 2008 I hit another bottom which took me back to program.  I jumped into all aspects of the program, steps, service, a daily ritual.

My experience is that with my yellow light foods I was in denial that they belonged to the red light list.

My wife was taking a client to AA meetings sitting in the back. Mentioned they had a problem with alcohol like I did with food and mentioned OA. That did not please me. 

I ended up in OA wanting relief from the grief without making any changes in my behavior.

Eventually I embraced actually doing as told, getting a food plan, doing the steps.

I have done the steps and continue each time I take a sponsee through them.

I have daily actions regarding my food, my programmed and my life. 

I can still be driven by pride, self centeredness or fear but not as often not as long and not as intensely.

I was adopted and that comes with its unique baggage.

I always felt there was something wrong with me.

My story matches so many others, My mom comforted me with food and it worked. 

I came to OA in 1976. I followed the strict food plan, lost weight and collected sponsees. It cost me my family which was not a bad thing.

I started meetings at my apartment. And found a church that synced well with my program.

I unknowingly married an alcoholic which led to my relapse. which led me to Al-Anon. which opened my eyes even more.

The beginning of her sobriety was also my return to abstinence.

I have a morning ritual which includes my sponsees, reading, walking and it seems to be working . . for me.

Always bought clothes in Husky.My parents would bribe me to loose weight. did it, got the prize then right back up.

It was suggested. I go to OA. and found out it was not Order of the Arrow.

First food plan was grey sheet. lost weight, too much weigh. 

I was sent to AA and  discovered 'Solutions.. Learned to listen for the similarities, not the differences.

I was directed to a sponsor who scared me the most.

How do you keep weight off? - repeatedly running up the steps.

Today I can be honest with God, Myself and my sponsor.

I share my gratitude with individuals freely. 

My first food plan was no sugar which seemed impossible.

When I got 21 Days i was eligible to be a sponsor.

The foundation of my abstinence was still no sugar my food plan is built on that. That gave me too much wiggle room.

I ended up down to 88 lbs on the food plan I had been given. It did not last and I left OA

From then on I went up and own with insane eating and insane diets.

I calculated how much laxative I need to take take to offset my eating. 

Today I have a daily ritual, solid food plan that works and a relationship and conscious contact with a higher power.

2 Periods of abstinence.

For me abstinence is binary, I am or i am not. 

When I came back I was eating from the produce aisle and still gaining weight.

There was a shift when I changed from eating emotionally to eating nutritionally based on a food plan.

I have a Higher Power and I shorten it to God.

I still feel the pull. Today I call me sponsor instead of giving into it.

Half of my abstinence is an attitude,

Program always comes first.

Sober 32 years , Abstinent - 2 Food is a bigger deal and harder
Top weight  over 350 lbs.

I am now in a body and a mind that does not include dieting.

I just wanted the diet, I can do this!  For a while

For me steps 6 and 7 were the miracle steps. Transformed my relationship with me.

I imagined a abstinent life of suffering. I din't hear that, just imagined that.

I was not ready for so long, I prayed be ready and one day it happened. I stopped convincing myself of the path I imagined and started to accept reality which was not anywhere near as bad as my scenario.

I have maintained an over 300 lb weight loss for past 4 years.

in High school I had friends who were concerned. at 250 lbs.

As I moved up in weight I just gave any thought of approproiate eating. I knew I needed more that a diet. 

I prayed to have the weight removed and it was still there in the morning.

Massive health problem gave me pause to think about it No More.  I was sure I was going to die and surrendered to that which led me to surrender to believing i was a compulsive over eater which allowed me to allow OA into my life.

I hit a bottom which was the moment I stopped digging. 

Once I got a sponsor and started working the steps, my recovery started.

Not only the weight loss but keeping it off is a miracle,'

My children no longer have to be my caregiver. I get the be the dad.

OA - Simple yes, Easy no

Came in over 350. Was told I needed surgery but not until I lost 70 lbs - I put on 20.

I got candy to keep my dad's alcohol secret and got paid with candy to rat him out. 

I learned to pray, but for stuff.

I ended up married and pregnant an got permission to eat like I wanted. 

I volunteered for everything  all over the place to prove I was worthy.

There was a moment when I realize I was choosing between life OR chocolate cake.

i am no longer alone. I work with a sponsor and my doctor.

Highest weight - 460

I had lots of real feelngs, food kept me safe.

I had skills, sought and achieved validation. but it was never enough.

I had a way of pushing people way, and feel rejected. Food never rejected me.

2018 dangerous diabetic diagnosis.doubled up on food and medicine.Made since to me.

11/11/2020 arrived in OA and admitted I was powerless over food. Had negative side affects.

Got a sponsor early on and went through the steps but still do step 1,2 and 3 every day.

Every step was transformational the first time trough and still is. More is revealed every time I go through them.

 now know I have a multitude of characters defects which I work on AND characters assets which continue to grow.

1st abstinence I lost over 200  lbs.

Verbally and physically abusive upbringing. Food helped.

Top weight over 400.

2 devastating losses brought me to my knees.

My self talk was extremely negative until I started working the steps

Still working on improving my relationship with a higher 

power.

Thin untill High School Up to 350.

Drugs were the only diet than helped until OA.

After car accident 1983  I ended up in OA. I heard my story. Abstinent since 5/31/83

Initially I was reluctant because of the God stuff.

Jumped into the steps I WANTED what you had.

When my sponsor went out I moved to the middle of the herd.

I realize now I was very angry my first 5 years.

I hate the phrase 'More will be revealed' It is true and today I have twe steps to handle this new stuff.

I talk the tools in and out of the program........

Missing first two minutes of recording. :(

Dieted in college comparing myself to everyone else. First time I thought it was a problem.

Going to Weight Watcher did not work as I was not willing to take directions and be different from my peers.

Somehow I thought the larger I got the more invisible i became.

Knowing I could eat in class was a gift from God.

By the time I got to OA I was pretty beaten down. I could not fit in a booth etc. Could not keep lying to myself.

In OA I saw the light in people eyes, They told a shameful truth and people clapped. I wanted that.

Two parts of my abstinence.Temporal and substance. When and what I eat are different components for my recovery.

once I decided I wanted what you had and became willing to go to any lengths it all kicked into gear.

After a while my mind, my heart and my soul opened up and could receive  the gifts of this program.

I came from a long line of good cooks and compulsive over-eaters.

I thought I could eat whatever my husband ate, added baby weight and kept it all and more.

Medical, pay and weigh, hypnosis and a multitude of other weight loss schemes failed to work for very long.

June 201 I started a diet took me form 317 to 192 in two years. No steps yet. 2020 landed in OA, qualified according the test questions, discovered my tribe but didn't know it yet.

Today I am retired andand not afraid. I work the programs, am involved with my meeting. do service and have a good realtionship with my higher power.

I am active, accountable and am loving my life due to OA.

Abstaining over 37 years. Came in over 340 lbs.

I came to OA because a friend but n=knew nothing of any anonymous program. 

My only motivation to come to OA was because I was afraid of loosing my children.

Could not come up with a good enough lie to not go to the 2nd meeting.

I got a sponsor who tricked me into more meeting per week and discovered a thurday night meeting of people just like me. Still my home group.

I do everything for one day. Same routine. I invite my higher Power into every aspect of my life listed out loud.

I have never left, I am still teachable, and I can ask for help.

Topped out 576. lbs in 1999.

Came into program thinking I would loose enough weight to do Barriatric surgery. God had other plans.

It was 'suggested' I work the program.

My food plan has changed but my program has not.

i was a compulsive rebel - today I have a pause button which helps me to take more appropriate actions.

Today I have a God of my understanding which, like my program, has never failed me.

I am blessed with a home, a family a career and a partner. I am 350 Lbs lighter without surgery. It is all result of my working the OA Program to the best of my ability.

I recovered through AA literature and it has stayed my focus.

I remember the anticipation and pleasure from my first steak when I was 6 and my life changed.

I would binge on bologna sandwiches.

I could not stop doing the binging which caused me so much misery.

I realized there was something wrong with me. Nobody did what I did with food.

In my mid thirties my world became very small.

Working a graveyard shift allowed to go to 3 meetings a day. I had physhical success from my diet. No recovery whatsoever.

Finally it seemed that getting a sponsor may be helpful.

I surrendered my sugar and was allowed my atheism. So I stayed.

Today my health, my PTSD and my Atheism have been addressed.

For me I remain in action for my recovery and helping other which helps me. 

I discovered comfort food as a infant.

I was tall and big before I was 9.

At 25 I had my first suicide attempt.

I was blackout eater.

I have been paddled back to lifetwice at 350 lbs. There is so much more.

Today I have a daily ritual, which keeps me sane, abstinent and useful. I record my food and and express my gratitude to my Higher Power maintaining a 150 Lb. weight loss.

I Was in mental hospital at 16 and learned about drugs. It did not help my weight but I was taken to AA.

Found OA grey sheet in 1977. Got physical recovery and several relapses.

For me the "OA Diet" worked briefly several times  with more weigh gain up to 300.

For more than 35 years I took what I liked and left the rest. 

Eventually I actually did all 12 steps with a sponsor

Today I have a food plan. Participate in service, sponsor people, and work the entire program to the best of my ability.

First came into OA in  2006. 

After multiple relapse I finally realized my recovery HAD to be my primary focus in order to have the rest of my life.

As a child I wanted to be invisible but my weight made that impossible.

I had excel spreadsheets for the diets I would start on Monday.

Today I have am maintaining a 150 lb weight loss.

The level of my honesty is reflected in the quality of my recovery.

I have walked through a myriad of problems and not turned to the food.

My daily ritual for my recovery it sacred for me.

When My relationship with God is right relianace of food is gone.

33.75 years abstinent and maintaining121 lb weight loss.

Prior to OA I was a nutritional expert gaining and loosing over 700 lbs a little at a time. 

I knew how to get shinny, but not for long.

Heavy I was angry, Thin I was angry. Hmmmm.

About the time I was planning my suicide I went to OA. Found people who didn't overeat AND they didn't want to. They had the 12 steps.

I have had tragedy and good fortunes and did not turn to the food on either end.

I  can put an abstinent meal together anywhere in the world.

I do not believe I could just go to a couple of meeting a week and maintain my life. It is the whole program. meetings, sponsoring, calls and introspection that works for me and keeps my disease at bay.

2002 Came to OA hundred pounder. Knew about AA and felt sorry for those poor addicts.

My pitch is for those who are tortured by what they eat.

I was convinced I need a sponsor, needed to call him and I recived a new life. Got involved in service, met a girl and got married. 

By 2017 I lost interest in recovery. my weight climbed, my enjoyment in my life plummeted.

Every plan I made feel through until I the only thing left was back to OA.

I thought if I lost weight fast I was getting better.

Today I make no food decision on my own. I am food neutral.

I am an atheist who prays a lot.

There are some gaps in the recording due to poor internet.

*****

 Even as a child the goal of being thin and eating as much as possible were at odds.

At 11 I went OA. They were nice but that was all I remember.

At 15 all I wanted them to do was' Stop Talking!'

I followed a diet and called it recovery.

In '94 I began my recovery, getting a sponsor and following directions he gave me.

I got amazing results loosing weight AND found the ability to spout OA wisdom like it was my own. 

I got so good I began sponsoring myself because I was so good. 

Finally got back with all my weight, followed new directions with a slight degree of humility developed and relationship with my higher power and began the road to real recovery.

My childhood was devoted  to sweets.

A friend died of obesity when we were 41. Got me to a doctor who scared me healthy for a moment.

Found a new diet online called OA. Followed grey sheet, lost weight with no recovery. and paid the price.

Finally found my way back to OA and the Pizza Box meeting. They were extremely serious about their recovery AND had fun.

Today I have have a daily ritual including the tools of the program and tools I have learned from other abstinent members.

Today I do my best to do the right thing around food, relationships, driving -  life.

My step zero is to always remember WHY I am in OA.

Isolation is my enemy.  The fellowship helps me conquer that enemy.

Sugary and starchy foods are a problem for me.

I was a chronic dieter and nothing ever lasted. 

At 5' 1" almost 300 lbs is a lot of mass.  My thinnest got me hospitalized. Always Malnourished.

I came to O. A. seeking and external solution to an internal problem.

Self loathing is not the path to recovery.

I was inspired (Not my idea) to attend an OA Conference. I was struck abstinent at that weekend.

I am always moving toward or away from my Higher Power. Toward is better.

I cannot do this alone. I need all of you and all the tools.

My GPS is God's Powerful Spirit.

Came in 2007 at 519 lbs

I had a core belief ' I am not ok". If thing did not go the way I wanted it proved me right, kept me outside. I learned to accept that truth. My relationship with food verified it more.

My weight went up, down, up more, down, up more up to a high of 525.

The honest awareness and acceptance I could not do it by myself got me into O.A.

Step 1 was a grieving process for me.

When I want too know what I am supposed to do, I look at what I am resisting.

Any time I think I got away with something, it becomes a heavier weight than the food.